Worlds Apart
by Aveline Archer
Summary: As we climbed the stairs, my hazel eyes unwittingly drifted back towards the Captain who was watching us, he flashed me a boyish grin and I quickly looked ahead before it could disarm me completely. "He wasn't what I expected," STEVE/OC/BUCKY - Gin meets Steve during his tour in 1942 and unwittingly falls for the Brooklyn kid...until the war interrupts their budding romance.
1. Wicked Game

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own the rights to anything related to Captain America.

This is fiction.

Any original characters belong to me.

**Title: **Worlds Apart

**Author: **Aveline Archer

**Characters: **Steve Rogers (Captain America), Genevieve "Gin" Renard (OC)

**Genre: **Romance/Drama

**Summary: **_As we climbed the stairs, my hazel eyes unwittingly drifted back towards the Captain who was watching us, he flashed me a boyish grin and I quickly looked ahead before it could disarm me completely. "He wasn't what I expected,"_

* * *

**1 – Wicked Game**

_(July 1942)_

The red velvet curtains swung across the stage as the orchestra lingered on the last deafening cord, the crowd erupted in thunderous applause and I fought the urge to roll my hazel eyes. I mentally scolded myself for allowing my friend; Bette to choose the entertainment for our first night of leave in Seattle. We were stationed at Pearl harbour with the Army Nurse's Corps, and while the worse injuries we dealt with were sunburn, it was refreshing to be away from the sandy beaches and sun soaked palm trees in favour of some good old fashion rain.

Bette clapped wildly, grinning ear to ear and jumped up from her seat as Captain America came waltzing back on stage. The crowd cheered as he waved and smiled to them, touching them with his charm so they'd buy war bonds on their way out of the theatre.

"Wasn't that amazing?" Bette gushed.

"Not really," I muttered rising from my seat, and ran my hands over my knee length skirt to smooth out the wrinkles in the fine black material. I adjusted my matching black jacket, feeling the crisp white shirt underneath grace my bare skin. "The man is prancing around on stage, pretending he's a soldier, it's insulting to the men actually fighting and dying in Europe."

Bette cringed at the scorn in my voice, "He's keeping the people happy, rather than thinking about the war,"

"By being a dancing poodle?" I questioned leading her out into the aisle where we followed the crowd into the theatre entrance, while most headed out into the cool night we lingered near a quiet corner.

"I think he's wonderful." She stated stubbornly, running a hand through her blonde locks. "And my uncle says we can meet him," she pulled a piece of paper from her purse and took my elbow, walking us towards the side entrance where two burly men stood guard and stopped the enthusiastic females from getting by. "Excuse me!" Bette and I weaved through the crowd, she handed over her uncle's handwritten note and we were allowed pass.

We descended the grand stairs covered in lush red carpet into the chaos of the backstage area, lit up by a chandelier looming above us. Female dancers still in their stars and stripes costumes stood in small groups, smoking and talking, while male crew members moved large pieces of scenery.

"There he is!" Bette hissed in my ear and I followed her gaze across the room to where Captain America signed autographs for a small group of children, they were eventually ushered away by their parents and their hero pulled off his cap revealing the man beneath. "Let's go over!"

"Oh joy." I muttered under my breath, glancing around as Bette approached him.

"Captain America?"

"Hi,"

"It's such a pleasure to meet you, I really enjoyed the show. I'm Bette, and this is my best friend; Genevieve," she tugged on my arm and my attention was instantly caught up in the tall, handsome blonde man standing before me. He shook Bette's free hand, projecting the awkwardness of someone not use to attention.

"It's nice to meet you both." He extended his hand to me, and I gently slipped my hand into his.

"And you Captain,"

"Call me Steve," the corners of his thin lips twitched slightly as I tugged my hand back, my fingertips tingling with the lost contact of his warmth.

"Well Steve, I think what you're doing for the cause is just wonderful," Bette released my arm and began digging through her purse. "Would you sign my poster?"

"Sure ma'am." He accepted the poster and pen she handed him and signed his name. "Are you two from here?"

"Washington D.C actually," I answered causing his gaze to lift and focus upon me.

"You don't sound American ma'am,"

"That's because I'm not." A small shade of red formed in the apple of his cheeks as I held his gaze longer than necessary.

"Genevieve and I are Army nurses; we're on a week's leave."

"Really? Where are you stationed?"

"Pearl Harbour," I replied noticing his light blue eyes appeared more interested in us now he learnt we weren't some floozy's after his limelight.

"I'm meant to be doing a show out there next month,"

"The girls will love that!" Bette carefully folded up the poster and stashed it back in her purse. "We've all got your posters,"

"Really?" He glanced at me even though Bette laughed and rested a hand upon his muscular arm.

"Everyone but Genevieve, she prefers Errol Flynn, but I have your poster beside my bed." Bette's long lashes fluttered at the Captain and he blushed again. "I'd love to give you a tour of the island when come,"

"That's really nice of you ma'am, but I'm not sure if I'll have the time to sightsee."

"Don't be silly _Captain_; the nurses would love to show you around the base, it would be no trouble at all."

"I'm sure it wouldn't be ma'am," he caught my sarcasm and effortlessly dodged it. "Maybe you could lead the group tour, and show me some of your favourite places,"

"That wouldn't be very exciting; she spends most of her time at the hospital restocking and cleaning equipment." I shot Bette a dark look but she didn't seem to notice. "The rest of us go to the beach, or into town. Do you dance Steve?"

"Not really ma'am."

"Well we should probably be on our way; it was nice to meet you." I linked my arm with Bette's, quickly turning us around and manoeuvring back through the crowd. As we climbed the stairs, my hazel eyes unwittingly drifted back towards the Captain who was watching us, he flashed me a boyish grin and I quickly looked ahead before it could disarm me completely. "He wasn't what I expected,"

"Are you admitting I was right?"

"Worse, I'm admitting I was wrong." I murmured, our heels tramping over the lush carpet until we left the theatre and walked into the wet night.

"He was amazing wasn't he?"

"What's amazing is that you've conveniently forgotten about your boyfriend in Hawaii," we stood huddled together beneath the cover of the theatre front, watching the fat drops of rain fall off the marque above us and yellow cabs race through the puddles and splash unsuspecting victims.

"Well it doesn't matter; Steve appeared more interested in you than me. And even after you were mean to him,"

"I wasn't mean –"

"Well you weren't nice." She retorted looking around at our surroundings. "Oh, there's a payphone across the street, I should call uncle and let him know we enjoyed the show."

"I'll wait here."

Bette nodded quickly crossing the street to enter the small diner, while I shivered, vainly rubbing my arms to bring me some warmth, when the light around me dimmed slightly.

"Are you lost ma'am?"

I glanced up from the wet pavement to discover the Captain now standing beside me in civilian clothing and still every bit as handsome as he was in his Captain America uniform. "No, I'm waiting for Bette."

"So you're from England?"

"What gave me away?" I mentally savoured the way I could make him blush, my red lips curving into a smile as I decided to put him out of his misery. "Actually I'm from a country called New Zealand."

"Was that so hard?" He murmured matching my smile. "Y'know, for a nurse, your bedside manner isn't that great,"

"I'm sure you wouldn't complain if you were wounded and I turned up at your bedside,"

"No I wouldn't." He muttered sheepishly glancing sideways at me, as my teeth dug into my bottom lip, suppressing the grin dying to form upon my lips. "Do you need me to call a cab for you?"

"No, Bette shouldn't be too much longer; she's just making a phone call."

He nodded burying his hands in his pant pockets, casting his blue eyes ahead to the street. "Do you have plans for your week off?"

"Not really,"

"Well if you wanted, we could…if you didn't have plans, I mean I have some free time tomorrow –"

"Spit it out Captain,"

"Do you want to get a coffee…with me…tomorrow?"

"You must be a sucker for punishment,"

The smooth piece of skin between his eyebrows scrunched up. "Why do you day that?"

"Most men that receive my verbal lashing don't really bother to ask me out."

"I never back down from a bully." He replied and I got the impression he wasn't exactly talking about me.

"How about we meet here at ten o'clock tomorrow?"

"Really?"

I nodded as we looked at each other bashfully. I looked away first and spied Bette dashing across the street back to us, her green eyes widened to see the Captain again and her lips stretched into a wide grin. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow then." He nodded and I took Bette's elbow, guiding her away.

"What was that all about?"

"We're having coffee tomorrow,"

Bette looked over her shoulder and then whistled. "Captain America asked you out for coffee?"

"No one's more surprised than me, but he keeps me guessing." My lips formed a genuine smile, and I couldn't wait for the next day to dawn.

* * *

**A/N -** _Thoughts, comments, general chit-chat always welcomed._


	2. Killing Loneliness

**A/N - **_Much love to my two reviewers._

**2 – Killing Loneliness**

Bette stretched out across the single bed, her critical eye studying my outfit while I gently combed my brown waves into place. My heart raced in my ear, while the organ pounded so roughly against my ribs I was sure they would bruise. I'd hardly slept the night before, tossing beneath the sheets until I finally gave up and read my favourite Jane Austin novel until the sun streamed through the gaps in the curtains.

"So?" I spun round, letting my short sleeve floral dress puff out before settling just below my knees. "Am I overdressed?"

"You always overdress," Bette stated climbing off the bed and snatched her favourite red lipstick from her bedside table, handing it to me to use. "But I have a feeling you could wear a paper bag and Captain America wouldn't notice."

I coated my lips with the red lipstick and popped it into my purse before taking one more glance at my reflection. My stomach twisted in knots, nerves I hadn't felt so bad since joining the Army, but I inhaled a deep breath, releasing it slowly and felt my heart begin to slow its rapid beat.

"Okay," I glanced at my watch. "I better get going."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," she sang as I opened the motel door, pausing to glance over my shoulder at her.

"There's nothing you wouldn't do." Bette giggled and I walked out.

Gratefully the heavens had opened to release an unusual amount of sunshine, warming my exposed arms and helping the natural tan linger a little longer. The motel we were staying at was only a couple of blocks away from the theatre, so I wandered along the pavement taking in the morning sights of people going about their business and stopped to pick up a newspaper where the bold black headlines kept America updated on the war effort in Europe.

I was running a finger over the casualty list when someone cleared their throat, my hazel eyes drifting up to see the Captain waiting for me. Wearing the same casual attire from the night before, but he'd added a brown leather jacket over his chequered shirt.

"Just a second," I stated quickly scanning the rest of the names and sighed gratefully. "Thank god." I murmured and gently folded up the newspaper. "Sorry about that,"

"Found what you were looking for ma'am?"

"I always check the casualty list to see if anyone I know is on it. So far, there's been no bad news."

"Do you know many people over there?"

"A few, most I met during basic training. We were on a base with paratroopers, and got to know them well. They shipped out a couple of months ago," I stated and smiled. "So Captain, do you know a place that makes good coffee around here?"

"Yeah, there's a diner a block from here." He extended his elbow and I linked my arm through it allowing him to lead me along. "So those paratroopers you know, ah, how well did you know them?"

"We were friendly; we'd patch them up if they got hurt during training." I glanced up at him as his blue eyes landed on me. "But I had no sweetheart if that's what you're wondering,"

"I wasn't wondering ma'am,"

"No? You were mentally interrogating me." I chuckled and causally leaned against his side as we approached the small diner. "If you were to know anything about me, I don't have time for secrets or lies. I'm honest –"

"Oh, I noticed that ma'am," the corners of his lips curved.

"Call me Gin, all my friends do."

"Okay, only if you stop calling me Captain,"

"Deal."

Steve pulled away and opened the door, allowing me to enter first and inhale the intoxicating fast food smells, making my stomach rumble in response. I'd been too nervous to eat breakfast. An attractive young waitress came over and showed us to an empty booth, she made a show of swaying her hips as she walked, cheekily glancing over a shoulder and winking at Steve.

"What can I get you sweetie?"

Steve shifted uncomfortably in his seat, that familiar fetching shade of red gracing his cheeks and I decided to speak up.

"Two coffees and two menu's please." I replied, smiling sweetly as the waitress glanced at me and reluctantly nodded, walking over to the counter.

"I'm sorry about that."

I set the newspaper and my purse on the table beside me. "I don't know how you stand it. Women seem to lose any sense of reason when they see you,"

"That never use to happen," he muttered.

"I don't believe that." I remarked but Steve didn't reply as the waitress reappeared with two coffees, setting them before us as well as two menus.

"So, what made you leave your home and come here?" He relaxed in his seat, grasping the stained coffee cup with a hand.

"I wanted to see the world." I replied simply even though my hand unwittingly rose to the silver locket around my neck. An heirloom passed through the generations of my mother's family. "My parents are French, and my father fought during the First World War. He only mentions it when he's had a few too many brandy's, but he said he couldn't live in a place where he'd seen so much death, and that he wanted to raise his family somewhere safe, where the world wouldn't bother us. So after my parents married, they moved to New Zealand to start a new life."

"I can't say I blame him."

I sipped my coffee, and added a spoonful of sugar. "Then you can imagine what he thought when I told him I'd joined the Nurses Corps,"

"He wasn't happy,"

"Bingo. But I'm afraid we all inherited his stubbornness, my brother; Gabriel joined the Air force on his sixteenth birthday, and no doubt my younger sister; Grace will become a nurse as well." I picked up the menu and studied it.

"You're lucky to have parents that care about you so much,"

"Aren't you close to your family?"

"My parents are dead, and I have no siblings."

I looked up despite the mortified blush forming upon my cheeks. "I'm sorry Steve, I just assumed…"

"It's okay, my mom did the best she could until she got sick,"

I reached across the table, slipping my hand into his grasp and gently squeezed his warm flesh. "I'm sure she'd be proud of you."

"Are you two ready to order?"

I pulled my hand from Steve's grasp, mentally cursing the waitress but forced my red lips to curve. "I'll have the chicken salad."

"And I'll have a cheeseburger and fries," the waitress took our menus and left us alone again. "So, you're an Errol Flynn fan?"

I nodded my head with a shy grin, trying to ignore the giddy feeling that ruptured in my stomach every time he smiled at me. Obviously everyone he came into contact with couldn't help be attracted his dashing looks, but behind his appearance and stage bravado was an introverted, yet good man. And even though we'd only known each other a few hours, I felt the loneliness within my heart begin to fade away.

* * *

The crisp plane ticket felt foreign in my grasp, but the distance hum of the airplane engine reminded me of the base at Pearl Harbour and confirmed that our vacation in Seattle was truly over. Bette and I sat together in our neatly pressed uniforms in the departure lounge, waiting while other passengers checked in and luggage was loaded on the aircraft.

"Is Steve coming to say goodbye?"

"No, I told him not to come." I replied quietly, staring at my red nail vanish while trying to keep my emotions in check and not think about the whirlwind five days I'd spent in Steve's company.

We'd spent our days sightseeing and getting to know each other, and after his shows we'd grab a quiet dinner together. The night before he'd been brave enough to let Bette talk him into accompanying us to a dance club, and even though he ruined my new shoes, I'd managed to teach him a few steps so that by the end of the night we were actually dancing in time to the band.

"You really like him don't you." I glanced at Bette as she flashed me a feeble smile, and I nodded slipping my ticket into my purse. "It's not like you to lose your head around a man,"

"I didn't lose my head." I muttered.

"Oh Gin,"

I rose from the chair, tugging my jacket into place refusing to say anymore, as my mind couldn't process the idea of falling in love, especially with a man I met only five days before. I walked over to the window, but instead of seeing the airplane I only saw my sad reflection in the glass. I hung my head and attempted to think of happier things, Hawaii beaches, gossiping with the girls, even waltzing the empty corridors of the hospital.

"GIN!"

I lifted my head and frowned, twisting round to see Steve jogging towards me. "Steve?"

"I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye," he stood before me catching his breath as I lightly shook my head.

"I told you not to come; I'm not good with goodbyes."

"It's not really goodbye, I'll be in Hawaii in a few weeks." He stated reaching out to gently brush a fallen strand of hair back into place, his blue eyes meeting my hazel ones.

"Will you write me?"

"Only if you promise to teach me more dance steps," I managed a curt nod as tears prickled at the corners of my eyes, and I stepped forward, curling my arms round his waist and embraced him tightly as I had the night before when we'd parted.

"Gin, it's time to go." Bette called and I reluctantly pulled myself from Steve's arms, glancing up at him with a small smile.

I walked over to Bette and motioned to take my purse from her but turned round, rushing back to Steve and reached up to press my lips against the corner of his mouth, lingering a moment as I softly inhaled his scent and then stepped away. "I'll see you soon."

He simply nodded and I followed Bette out on the tarmac.


	3. For The Greater Good

**3 – For The Greater Good.**

(August 1942)

Rapid footsteps, those that could only belong to someone in the military echoed along the vacant corridor and made my hazel eyes lift from the report I was in the middle of writing for a soldier that had broken his leg while learning to surf. The black pen paused and lowered to the desk as Bette burst into the room.

"Gin, we're needed in the day room," her urgent tone made me rise from my chair and follow her out of the ward. "Two officers are here, they want to see all the senior nurses,"

"Did they say why?" She shook her head and I frowned.

We'd only been back on base for three weeks, and every day closer to Captain America's arrival created a buzz of excitement. The nurses had taken down their posters, wanting them to be autographed the moment they met the man, and my delighted mood at seeing Steve again couldn't be ruined, until I walked into the day room and saw the two female military officers. Their stony expressions didn't give anything away, and by the way the nurses nervously glanced at each other, we knew it wasn't a social visit.

"My name is Agent Carter," the slender brunette spoke in a posh English accent, and studied each nurse as we lined up neatly before her and an older woman. "I work for a special branch of the American government and Military service. I'm looking for volunteers; we need nurses on the front line in Germany." Bette and I glanced at each other. "It will be dangerous, but you will be helping to save the lives of soldiers. If you're interested please step forward."

I didn't think about the bloodied scenes or pitiful cries of men dying on the battlefield, or even my father's war stories as I stepped forward, stubbornly holding my head high as Agent Carter raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"What's your name?"

"Genevieve Renard ma'am,"

Her brown eyes studied me for a long moment and then I heard someone else step forward. "And you?"

"Bette Davis ma'am,"

"So that's it? Only two of you?" No one replied and I glanced at Bette again, a faint smile tugging at my lips to reassure her scared look. "The rest of you are dismissed then." After the stamper of feet had disappeared down the corridor, Agent Carter flashed us a small smile. "You will be shipping out to London at the end of the week; you will undergo further training before heading to Germany. Do you have any questions?" Bette and I shook our heads, even though a hundred questions buzzed within my head. "Good, I'll have a vehicle pick you up at 0600 hours Friday morning."

She turned on her heel and the two women walked briskly out of the room. I relaxed my shoulders and released a long sigh.

"You didn't have to volunteer Bette,"

"Yes I did, I couldn't let you go alone." She wrapped an arm round my waist. "Steve comes on Thursday,"

"I know, but he'll understand."

"Maybe you should send him a telegram?"

"No, he'll be here soon. And we've got things to do if we're to leave on Friday."

"Okay, but let's stop at the bar on the way home. I need a stiff drink before I talk to Danny." I nodded as the two of us left the day room.

-x-

What military personnel there were on base, piled together before the makeshift stage, cheering as the beautiful dancers kicked out their long legs and swayed behind Captain America. The nurses clapped wildly every time he smiled or waved at the crowd, and I stood side of stage watching the performance with a light heart. I'd waited patiently for his plane to come in, and the moment it touched down I walked out onto the tarmac, Steve sweeping me up into his arms after departing the plane.

Another roaring cheer broke my train of thought and I clapped my hands as Steve jogged off stage, a wide grin plastered upon his face. I slipped my hand into his and followed him into the tent set up behind the stage for the performers to use.

"I told you everyone would love you," I beamed as he tugged off his cap and set his shield down. He grabbed a towel and buried his face in it for a moment as he dropped down into a stiff plastic chair.

"They always like the dancers more." He chuckled rubbing the back of his neck with the towel before tossing it away.

"Do you have some free time?"

"Yeah, I'm done for the day."

"Good, I need to talk to you about something,"

"Our sightseeing plans?" He smiled causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"Not quite."

"It sounds serious," my neck shuddered as I swallowed hard and managed to curtly nod my head. "Give me a few minutes to change and we'll go for a walk."

I quietly left the tent, nervously playing with my locket until Steve emerged pulling on his leather jacket. We made our way to the other side of the base, descending a handful of stairs that led to the beach. I slipped out of my shoes, holding them with a hand while the white sand felt soft between my toes, moulding easily under each step I took with Steve beside me.

"Are you going to tell me what's on your mind?" I was unable to keep the gloomy cloud floating above my head to myself any longer, and reached for his hand, my fingers gracing the harden flesh of his palm before lacing our fingers. "What's wrong?"

"They need nurses in Europe…I've got my orders, I leave for London in the morning."

He looked away from where the ocean waves rolled in over the damp sand to stare at me, "You're leaving tomorrow?" I nodded. "When did you find out?"

"Tuesday," he gazed at our clasped hands and I knew neither of us could find the right words to express what we were feeling, but the silence was oddly comforting.

He eventually sighed and broke our hands, enfolding his arms around me. I released the grasp of my shoes, pressing myself against his body so my head rested perfectly beneath his chin as my arms curled round his waist. The corners of my eyes became damp as I realized this could be the last time we saw each other.

"Steve?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to spend my last hours here with you," I leaned back against his arm as a tear rolled down my face, my heart jolting as he raised a hand and gently wiped it away. Our gazes locked and my lungs struggled to function properly as his hand cupped my cheek, my face moulding in his warm palm.

"Are you sure?"

"I think I love with you." I whispered.

"Me too."

My wet lashes fluttered as I reached up, pressing my lips softly into his as my hands grasped his leather jacket. He stood immobile for a moment before his hand cupping my face slid to the back of my neck, keeping me in place as he returned my kiss. Our lips parted, a tiny moan escaping my throat as his hand untangled from my hair and reached for my hand. I picked up my shoes and tugged him forward, leading him across the beach towards the series of bungalows the nurses occupied.

-x-

I woke before the shrill alarm could disturb my dreams, my limbs tangled with Steve's which brought a blushing smile to my face. I gently slipped from his grasp and escaped into the tiny bathroom attached to my room, taking my time in the shower, using my favourite bar of lavender soap on my skin. I stood beneath the hot waterfall awhile longer before stepping out and wrapping a towel round my body.

I walked back into the bedroom to find Steve snoring soundly, and grabbed my uniform hanging in the wardrobe, heading back into the bathroom to dress and do my hair. By the time faint streams of sunlight began coming through the bathroom window, I was ready to face the long trip to London but not the goodbyes. I exhaled a long breath and left the bathroom, surprised to see Steve dressed and up and about.

"You're awake?"

"I wasn't going to let you sneak out." I placed my toilet bag in the suitcase open on the drawers, and added a few other items before closing it up. Steve grabbed me round the waist, spinning me round so we could kiss. "I'll be here when you get home,"

"Be realistic," I whispered as my hands pressed flat against his chest. "There's a chance I might not –"

"Don't say it! You're coming home and after this war we'll be together."

"We will?"

"I won't let you get away a second time." He stated. "C'mon, I'll walk you to the hospital."

He reached for my bag and grabbed my hand with the other, holding it tightly as we left my bungalow. The salty sea breeze danced around us as we slowly followed the quiet street towards the hospital nearby. I was grateful for the sound of the crashing waves, knowing without them my thundering heartbeat would be heard to Steve. I kept glancing sideways at him, etching his features into my memory and the hope of returning to him soon.

A black military issued vehicle sat parked outside the hospital, Bette stood waiting with the older woman who'd been with Agent Carter the day she recruited us. Steve set my suitcase in the trunk and pulled me aside so we could say our final goodbyes. But I couldn't express my feelings, my mouth was dry and the strong beat of my heart raced in my ear, distracting my thoughts.

"We'll see each other soon." Steve murmured cupping my face within his large hands. He bent down and kissed me softly, lingering a moment before pulling away.

"Gin, it's time." Bette stated beside me and I nodded, forcing a feeble smile as we climbed into the vehicle, sitting comfortably in the backseat. Bette reached for my hand, squeezing it tightly as I vainly attempted not to look out the window at Steve.

The vehicle hummed as it was brought to life, and when it started to move forward, Bette's grip grew tighter.

"Don't look back, don't look back." She whispered and I nodded putting my faith in the belief we'd see each other again one day.


	4. In Joy And Sorrow

**A/N -**_ Thank you as always for the reviews. But no the Captain won't be back for another couple of chapters...will you settle of Bucky instead?_

* * *

**4 – In Joy And Sorrow.**

(February 1943)

The days dragged into weeks and while the European scenery transformed often the battle scenes didn't. Bleeding wounds and body parts plagued me daily, and the haunting moans of approaching death echoed in my head when I vainly attempted to sleep. When the weeks began turning into months I found it painfully obvious that these horrendous scenes weren't disturbing me as much. I tried to save those I could, kneeling in the snowy mud vainly trying to stop the blood flow of wounds from enemy soldiers and whispering comforting words.

The only thing that kept my sanity in check was the journal Steve had hidden in my suitcase; the worn pages were covered in his pencil sketches. The little piece of him kept what soul wasn't torn away by the harsh reality of war. Bette wasn't as fortunate to have a saving grace; she'd grown weary of death and living in Army issue tents. She dreamt of running away, heading back to the States where the home comforts were.

"I can't take it anymore!"

I jumped as Bette snapped at me; I looked up from Steve's journal to find my friend pacing the length of the tent. Her plain black shoes tramped over the makeshift floor covering as her green skirt swayed around her legs, and she didn't bother keeping her voice down despite the handful of injured men trying to sleep on cots.

"I didn't sign up for this!" She angrily threw her hands up in the air as I slipped the journal into my jacket hanging over the back of the chair I sat upon.

"Neither did any of these men," I replied calmly. "None of us expected to see or do the things we've had to. It's the price you pay for protecting your country –"

"It's not even your country Gin!"

"Maybe not, but every person counts all the same. We've learnt to become soldiers, we know how to protect ourselves and that never would've happened at Pearl."

"I'm not a soldier!"

I rose from the chair, straightening my blouse and walked over to the nearest cot, checking on the sleeping soldier feeling Bette's gaze burn into my back. I faced her and sighed. "Go and get some sleep, I can handle things here."

"Sleep won't solve anything,"

"Just go."

Her lips clamped shut and she stormed out of the tent. I lightly shook my head, walking around to check on the other injured soldiers when a low whistle interrupted my peace and quiet. I paused from making a note on one of the soldier's charts to see Sergeant James 'Bucky' Barnes waltzing into the tent. The cheeky brunette flashed me a smile but the bleeding cut above his right eyebrow caught my attention.

"What have you been up to now James?"

"Me and boys got bored," I set the chart down and nodded my head towards the back of the tent where an examining table was set up. "And I never miss the chance to see my favourite dame,"

"I'm warning you, I've had one of those days where I'll give you a black eye and not feel bad about it."

He chuckled hopping up on the table as I grabbed some medical supplies. I set them up beside him, my moment of distraction allowing him to grasp my hips, moving me to stand before him. Our hazel eyes met, and the corners of his lips rose into the familiar smirk he saved especially for me.

He'd been trying to win over my affections since his unit came into the area two months before. He only succeeded in creating more work for me.

"You are by far the prettiest thing around here Gin,"

"That isn't much of a compliment considering most of the area is covered in snowy mud." My eyebrows rose. "James," my warning tone only amused him further and I lightly slapped his cheek when his wandering hands ventured south of my waist. "You just don't take no for an answer do you?"

"Nope, there's no ring on your finger Gin, so that makes you fair game."

I slapped him again for good measure and pulled away from his grasp. "I told you there's someone back home waiting for me."

"So why ain't he here?"

"He's doing what he can back home, and he's no coward so stop thinking that." I stated raising an eyebrow at him, and carefully began cleaning the wound. "I wonder about you sometimes James, I've seen the 107th soldiers more in the past couple of months than any other unit."

"You won't have to worry about that much longer,"

I lowered the bloodied cotton ball, frowning at him. "That sounds ominous,"

"We're heading to the front line tomorrow,"

"Oh," I murmured as the usually happy-go-lucky man appeared genuinely worried. And with no wonder, hardly anyone that went to the front line came back; there were rumours that the German's carried weapons more advanced than anyone had seen before. "The cut isn't deep, you don't need stitches," I reached for a Band-Aid and carefully placed it over the clean wound.

"Good, I can have an open casket maybe."

"Don't even joke about something like that." I clutched his jacket lightly shaking my head at him. "You're a good soldier James –"

"You've heard the stories Gin; they have weapons we can't fight against."

"It doesn't matter; you're coming back here because I have to teach you some manners," the corners of lips twitched as he curled his arms tightly around me, forcing me to lean into him. "You need to learn how to speak to a lady,"

"Does that mean you'll give me a proper send off?" He wriggled his eyebrows suggestively and I pressed my thumb against the Band-Aid making him yelp. "Not even a goodbye kiss?"

I rolled my eyes and placed a chase kiss against his cheek. "Now scram, I've got real patients to look after."

"Yes ma'am." He saluted me as he hopped off the table, casting me one last look over his shoulder before he disappeared through the open flaps.

"That man," I muttered under my breath, cleaning up the used supplies.

"Miss. Renard?"

I froze as the familiar soft feminine English voice spoke aloud, slowly turning round to see Agent Carter walking towards me. I hadn't seen the polished brunette for a couple of months, and felt apprehensive now she was here.

"Agent Carter, what brings you here?"

"Technically I'm not here, but I wanted to see how you and Miss. Davis were,"

"I'm fine, Bette not so much." I replied honestly walking over to the desk in the middle of the room and pulled the Army jacket over my blouse.

"Is there somewhere we can talk privately?"

"I'm on duty, but outside should be fine." I led her outside the tent where the hum of vehicles and soldiers talking would drown out our conversation. "What's on your mind Agent Carter?"

"Have you heard about the 107th?"

I nodded instantly thinking of James. "I've patched up those men more than most. They're a brave bunch, but even they don't think much of their chances against the stories we've heard,"

"They're not stories." I studied Agent Carter's face for a long moment but her serious features didn't falter. "We have Intel that the German's have advance weapon designs. We're hoping someone might be able to get into the base tomorrow, and uncover more information for us."

"How would they do that? No one has ever got close, and most men don't come back."

"We've learnt most of the men are captured alive, and taken into the base,"

I swallowed hard, lightly shaking my head. "That's a lot to ask of a man –"

"I'm not asking a man." She stated simply and I caught her train of thought feeling my heart begin to pound against my ribs.

"You're not seriously considering me?"

She nodded as her red painted lips curved slightly. "Why else do you think we've been teaching you how to fight and to shoot?"

I suddenly felt like a right fool for not seeing the signs earlier and raised a hand to my head, letting my fingers massage the smooth skin. "I should've known. That's why you asked for volunteers," she nodded once again. "So I'm to be used to gather Intel?"

"You will be helping the war effort Miss. Renard, you've been given the right training and now it's time to put it to use."

"Bette's not up for this." I folded my arms across my chest, ignoring the bitter chill that snapped at my bare legs. "She's not coping at all –"

"I understand she's your friend, but my eye has been firmly on you these past few months. You've adapted to your surroundings and taken on every challenge we've set you. You complete this mission and you'll be made an Agent."

"I'm just a waitress from Washington, and you're telling me I can help win this war?"

"Of course you can, you have an inner strength that drives you. I know you want to do something great with your life, and here's your chance."

"You don't need to give me an inspirational speech Agent Carter; you already know I'll do it." I managed a feeble smile as she gently touched my arm.

"I'll have a medic take over here, and I'll come by your quarters to brief you."

I nodded feeling my hand shift to my pocket where Steve's journal bulged beneath the material. What was I getting myself into?


	5. Sweet Pandemonium

**A/N -**_ I've really enjoyed writing this, so I hope you like reading it. As always, thoughts and comments are welcomed. It's nice to know where I stand._

_-x-_

**5 – Sweet Pandemonium.**

The male Army uniform didn't fit me as well as I'd liked it too, but my brown waves were pinned up and hidden beneath a dirty green cap, and Agent Carter helped me bound my chest the night before. Despite Bette's reluctance and fear about me doing an undercover mission, she helped out by colouring in my eyebrows and making them thicker, even going as far as to rub a light coating of dirt along my jaw for strange looking stubble.

Agent Carter and I talked late into the night about my mission, going over plans of the HYDRA base I'd willingly be led into after being captured by their soldiers, and known associates of the organization. Even when the dawn light woke me from an uneasy sleep, I wasn't convinced I was the right person for the job. But I'd do everything in my power to complete the mission.

I kept my head bowed as I marched within the soldiers from the 107th. There was an eerie silence within the morning fog surrounding us, if it weren't for the remaining snow crunching beneath our combat boots my nerves would've been completely on edge. I did a quick glance around the forest we tramped through, spying James in the distance with his rifle posed and ready for a threat. I carefully shifted my path towards him, coming up beside him and peeked up to catch his glance.

His light blue eyes widened and his rifle lowered. "Gin?"

"Glen," I corrected him trying to lower the tone of my voice.

"What are you doing here?" He hissed glancing around at the other soldiers who were thankfully caught up in their own thoughts to notice we were talking.

"I couldn't let you boys have all the fun."

"This isn't a game! You don't belong here!"

"Actually I do." I retorted jumping with the sharp crack of gunfire and the automatic cry of the bullet connecting with flesh.

James grabbed me round the waist, hiding us behind the trunk of a large tree and pressed me against the rough bark. I set my own rifle down and pulled a small gun out of the back of my pants; clicking off the safety and making James' eyebrows rise in surprise.

"You know how to use that?"

"I'm full of surprises –"

"GRENADE!"

James protectively shielded me as an explosion went off nearby, spitting dirt and snow for miles. I ignored the howling screams of pain as the blast obviously took out some of our soldiers, and tried to focus on what I needed to do. But I found myself distracted as James breathed deeply against my ear, his warm body practically pinning me against the tree and filling my head with his musky scent. He eventually leaned back and glanced around, seemingly oblivious that I'd been holding my breath.

"I'm taking you back to base –"

"I've got my orders!" I stared defiantly up at him as his blue eyes fixated on me.

"You're a nurse, not a soldier!" He argued and reached for my hand but I snatched it from his grasp raising my gun so he could only stare down its barrel.

"I need to get into the base."

"No," he shook his head, his stubborn will as strong as mine. "No one comes back from there Gin!"

We cringed as another grenade exploded; the stench of smoke and blood burning my nostrils as I deeply inhaled, and lowered my gun.

"I've got a mission, and I intend on completing it."

Cracks of gunfire drew closer towards our position; some of our soldier's running back pass us with no sense of reason, just complete pandemonium as they sprinted to get away from the threat. James faced me as a determined looked appeared upon his face, and he picked up my rifle.

"Alright, I'll get you to the base. You stay behind me, no matter what, do you understand me?"

I nodded but before he motioned to step out I clutched his jacket collar, tugging him closer so the remaining distance between our bodies closed. I kissed his lips lightly and then pulled away, ignoring the blush creeping upon my cheeks.

"What was that for?"

"For luck." I whispered.

We moved out from our hiding spot and ducked in and out of the dispersing crowd. We fired our bullets at the enemy advancing on our troops in their black combat body armour that appeared not to be impaired by our bullets.

We lingered behind another tree and James peeked out. "I can see the base up ahead. It looks like there's a large warehouse,"

"We'll need a distraction so I can slip in."

I heard footsteps approaching behind us and twisted my body round coming face to face with a masked soldier. Up close they were threatening, their body armour thick but their lower face exposed. I raised my gun without hesitation, my index finger hugging the trigger to release a bullet. The brawny body awkwardly stumbled back as the bullet went through his neck and he fell to the ground.

"Jesus," James muttered behind me as my tongue ran over my parched lips tasting dirt and salty sweat. "Nice shot Gin,"

"How far to the base?"

"Not far,"

I nodded retrieving a couple of grenades from my utility belt making James' eyebrows rise again. "This should clear it out,"

"You're not like any other dame I've ever known,"

"I'll take that as a compliment." I smiled.

I yanked out the pins, handing one to James as we threw them towards the gate entrance. We bent down and covered our heads as they detonated. I stood up roughly removing my brown leather jacket, revealing a dark brown cotton shirt, and took another gun out of the holster attached to my thigh.

We stalked the tree line towards the main gate, passing mangled bodies of enemy soldiers and slipped into the vacant space that reveal HYDRA's main base. There were trucks and tanks designed in a futuristic way, but their armour made great cover for me and James as we did a quick scan of the yard.

"So how are you getting in?"

I peeked around the large tank we knelt behind, seeing the loading dock was loosely guarded. "I'm going to walk in through the loading docks."

"You're just gonna waltz right in?" I glanced back at him as he tossed the empty rifle away and nodded. "You're joking?"

"No, and you can't come. You should get out while you can –"

"I'm not leaving!"

"Stubborn ass." I muttered facing him as I checked my belt for more ammunition, carefully reloading my weapons. "Okay, we'll make a run for it –"

James slid an arm round my waist, yanking me against his body. He raised a hand to my face, lightly brushing his thumb over my dirty cheek making me shiver as our mouths met again. His lips were soft, his embrace warm which made me crave and lean into his touch even more. I couldn't explain why, just putting it down to fear and our surroundings. We parted and he grinned.

"We needed a proper goodbye."

"Your timing is terrible." I murmured making him chuckle until a bullet ricocheted off the tank beside us.

We abruptly parted and suddenly discovered ourselves enclosed by these burly German soldiers. I lowered my weapons, frowning at James.

"Well we don't have to worry about getting inside now."

"Yeah, you're stuck with me now." He replied raising his hands as two of the soldiers stomped towards us.

-x-

The soldiers didn't speak, two of them gripping an arm each as they led me and James along a vacant corridor. I attempted to etch my surroundings into my memory, casting quick glances into the opened doorways we passed, highly surprised there were no pictures of Hitler. We were marched into a long room made up of concrete walls, and a strange hospital table was position at the opposite end of the room. The large operating light above the table highlighted a series of needles and other contraptions.

I glanced at James as his curious blue eyes studied the table. "I don't like the look of this,"

"Neither," he murmured.

"Finally, we have two worthy test subjects."

The thick German accent made my skin crawl, and I looked away from James to watch a slender German officer, dressed in a spiffy black uniform walk towards us. I stood confidently, staring into the dark eyes of Johann Schmidt. Agent Carter had revealed he was behind the creation of these advanced weapons the German's were using – he was also the key to taking HYDRA down.

"You are small," he grabbed my chin, lifting my head so I could study his well-defined facial features.

"Leave him! Take me!" James stated but his outburst only made Schmidt smile, his cold eyes never leaving mine.

"Why is your friend so eager to defend you? Perhaps there is more to you –"

I kicked my right leg back and swung it forward so my boot connected with his shin. He faulted and quickly retorted by slapping me hard across the face causing a short cry to part my lips. He snatched the cap off my head, allowing my brown waves to fall around my face as I glared up at him.

"Ah, a woman. Eager to defend her country, she lies to prove herself worthy. We both hide our true selves from the world, what is your name?"

"Go to hell!" I spat. He grabbed me by the back of my neck, making me stumble and fall against him. "I'm not afraid of you." I murmured darkly.

He released me and shoved me back towards the soldiers. "Strip her! She will go through the procedure first!" He barked his orders and James started vainly struggling to be released.

"NO! Take me you bastards!"

"You may proceed Doctor Zola." Schmidt raised an eyebrow as one of the soldiers ripped off my shirt revealing my bound chest.

They dragged me towards the operating table. I twisted in their grasp trying to loosen their iron clutches but they effortlessly lifted me onto the cold stainless-steel table. I managed to catch one last glance at James before they forced me to lie down. They strapped my arms with leather bands, the metal buckles scratching against my bare flesh as they secured them tightly. They pulled off my combat boots and trousers so they could bind my legs as well. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, my chest aching as my heavy breath caused my lungs and heart to work harder.

The small Doctor Zola peered down at me, silently going about his work, ignoring the abusive protests coming from James as he helplessly watched on.

"What are you going to do to me?"

He nervously met my gaze as he finished preparing the threatening syringe he held. "We are going to make you great."

"No…" I whispered as his fingers found a large vein pulsating in fear and gently stuck the thin needle into the flesh of my arm, making me grasp. My teeth dug into my bottom lip, breaking through the skin to draw blood as my back arched off the table. A scorching pain began to consume me but was quickly surpassed by darkness and I fell limp.


	6. The Funeral Of Hearts

**A/N - **_Thank you to the two people that reviewed the last chapter. Your wish is my command...Steve makes his return._

**6 – The Funeral Of Hearts.**

(February 1945)

A gentle rocking motion woke me from a hazy dream of emptiness. My fingers grasped at the scratchy woollen material covering my clothed body as I sluggishly sat up to discover myself locked away in small dungeon like room. I carefully shifted my legs over the side of the single cot bed, resting my bare feet flat against the cold vibrating floor, trying to fight off the wave of nausea beginning to consume me.

"How do you feel?"

I frowned as Doctor Zola stepped out of the shadowy corner, watching me cautiously through the round rims of his glasses. "Come a little closer and I'll show you."

"You have been unconscious for some time,"

A shiver danced along my spine as the room rocked more harshly. "Where am I?"

"We are on a train –"

"You said I've been unconscious, how long for exactly?"

"Almost two years –"

"What?" I shrieked jumping to my feet, only to lose my balance and fall to my hands and knees. I felt the harsh ground rip up the brown pants I wore, and scrape the delicate flesh of my knees. Zola came to my aid, helping me sit back on the cot. "How is that possible?" I whispered.

"It is the serum we injected you with," he motioned to my bloodied knees and watched with some horror as the flesh began to heal before my eyes. "It put you into a slumber, Schmidt was very angry. He wanted to see the effects but you refused to wake."

"Where is the slimy bastard?"

"At his base –"

"What happened to the man I was with?" I grabbed Zola by the shoulders to keep him before me, so I could gain the answers I needed. "What happened to James Barnes?"

"He was taken by Captain America,"

"Captain America?" I frowned.

Zola nodded, "He has destroyed most HYDRA bases, and he is powered by a serum, one that I tried to recreate and tested on you." I inhaled a sharp breath. "If my serum worked on you, Schmidt would have made an army of men like you."

"Dear god," I whispered and released Zola from my grasp. I ran a hand back through my loose waves noticing they were longer, reaching my breasts. "Do I look different?" I self-consciously touched my face.

"No." Zola sat down beside me, obviously safe with the knowledge I wasn't about to strangle him with my bare hands. "What is your name?"

"Genevieve. What has the serum done to me exactly?" I lowered my hands to my knees, tracing my fingertips over the flawless patches of bare skin.

"I will not know until I run tests. But as you have seen you heal rapidly, you may be much like Captain America – faster, stronger, and more intelligent than most humans."

I glimpsed at him. "I'm a freak,"

"No, no dear girl, you are the future." He smiled and rose from the cot. "Come, I have some supplies in the control room."

He outstretched his hand and I reluctantly used it to help myself to my feet again. We carefully walked from my empty carriage into the small engine room where a soldier sat at the controls of a lit up and very intricate looking panel.

"Sir, we have a problem,"

"What is it?" The soldier pointed to a small screen before him and Zola's features distorted into that familiar scared look I'd seen before he injected me. "Captain America? Fire!"

My heart jolted as I braced myself against the wall. Zola quickly moved away from the screen and pulled a pair of black Army boots from beneath the control panel. I carefully pulled them on, taking my time to do up the laces as my hazel eyes studied the area for a weapon. The young blonde soldier at the controls had a sidearm attached to his hip but Zola's sharp tone stole my attention.

"Fire again!" Zola grasped the microphone, shouting his orders.

I moved over to the lit up control panel staring down at the screen. It gave me my first glimpse of Steve and James. The two men I cared about were fighting a large soldier, working smoothly as a team until someone's weapon fired; a blinding blue light creating a hole in the side of the train.

"KILL HIM NOW!"

"NO!" I shoved Zola aside seizing the microphone. "Disengage! Don't shoot them!" I watched in horror as the soldier ignored me and fired again. James lost his footing and slipped out of the gaping hole, a strangled scream parting my lips. "JAMES!"

I spun round, my hand shooting out to grab Zola by the throat. I raised the small man off the ground, glaring darkly at him as I fought through my pain to watch him struggle. But before I could full embrace my rage, glass exploded and a man fell through the roof. I glanced over my shoulder at the African American man as he smirked, pointing his rifle at us.

"Put him down ma'am," my fingers released the delicate skin of Zola's neck and I stepped away. "Stop the train boy!"

I leaned against the control panel, breathing deeply as the train began to slow and when it eventually came to a stop, thundering footsteps drew closer. Someone walked through my empty carriage and I looked up as Steve appeared in the doorway. Our eyes met for the first time in two years.

"Steve!"

"Gin?"

I raced over and threw myself at him, bursting into tears as his arms enfolded me.

-x-

I sat gingerly perched upon the edge of the wooden chair, my fingers grasping my knees and the stiff fabric of clothes that hadn't been worn before now. The moment Zola and I descended upon London, hand delivered by Steve and his men, we were separated. I'd been forced into another small white concrete room, made to undress and be examined by a number of doctors. I wanted to protest, convince them that I wasn't a threat but their warning looks kept my tongue in my head.

I hadn't seen Steve since we departed the plane, he barely said anything during the trip and I couldn't muster up the courage to attempt a conversation. But I found comfort in the fact he sat beside me, sometimes he'd reach out and hold my hand, staring at our entwined fingers.

"How are you feeling Miss. Renard?"

My flesh broke out in goose-bumps as Agent Carter entered the room, nodding her head at the soldiers standing guard by the only exit. I wasn't a survivor; I was a science experiment. And I didn't appreciate it but I continued to go against my nature and stay silent.

She gracefully crossed the room to where I sat before a wooden table, and lowered herself into the chair opposite mine. She lightly brushed a strand of brown hair off her face, appearing a picture of perfection and I self-consciously pinched my cheeks.

"I understand it's been a rough couple of days for you, but I need to ask you a few more questions."

My tongue lightly traced my lips, moistening the dry skin as I spoke aloud for the first time in hours. "Why am I being kept in here?"

"You were discovered on a HYDRA train –"

"That's where I woke up! Haven't you spoken to Zola?" I asked hearing the hint of urgency in my tone.

"We have, but we would like to hear your version of events, starting from when you left with the 107th."

My forehead furrowed as the steel door opened again and Steve entered, dressed in full military uniform and a sombre expression plastered upon his face. He quietly closed the door and leaned casually against a wall. I shifted my gaze to where my hands sat grasped within my lap.

"I left with the 107th at dawn; we must've been walking for a couple of hours when the enemy saw us. Soldiers were running away and grenades were going off," I closed my eyes picturing the scene as if it had only happened the day before. The delicate skin of my throat shuddered as James' face appeared and my eyes snapped open to see Agent Carter. "I used a couple of grenades to take out the enemy at the front gates of the base, and took shelter behind a tank. I planned to enter through the loading dock but I was captured before I could get there. I was brought before Johann Schmidt…" I lightly shook my head refusing to say anymore, not because I was scared but because I couldn't remember much after that.

"You've left out how Bucky was with you the entire time."

I looked up through my damp lashes at Steve as he folded his arms across his chest. "He told you that?"

"He was debriefed after he was rescued; he and Steve were childhood friends." Agent Carter stated quietly as a tear ran down my face, dropping off my chin to sink into the fabric of my pants, creating a wet patch upon my thigh.

"Bucky said you were stubborn, and that if you weren't gonna leave he'd go with you." I silently nodded. "He told me what happened before you were captured, beside the tank."

I raised a trembling hand to my face, wiping my fingers through the steady stream. "I-I never knew you two were friends."

"What do you remember of the procedure?" Agent Carter asked calling my attention back to her.

"H-hardly anything, Zola injected me with s-something…it felt like I-I was burning from the inside out and then I-I passed out, only to wake up two days ago on the train." I sniffed. "What happens to me now?"

"We wait for your test results to come back." Agent Carter rose from the chair and left the room, the two soldiers following her but Steve lingered.

I kept my gaze firmly down, unable to control the steady stream of tears still falling. I heard his heavy footsteps walk towards me, and the vacant chair slid across the concrete floor to be set near mine. He gently placed a handkerchief within my hands and I glanced up at him.

"Have they found James' body?" I whispered mopping up my face as he shook his head. "Are you angry with me?"

"I was, especially when Bucky didn't shut up about you. He wanted to look for you, he blamed himself for what happened," my chin trembled uncontrollably. "I didn't have the heart to tell him about us."

"He knew there was someone waiting for me, but he always joked that I was fair game because there was no ring on my finger."

The corners of Steve's lips curved slightly. "That sounds like Bucky,"

"Zola told me about you," he frowned at me. "You were injected with a serum as well, one similar to the one used on Johann Schmidt."

"I was recruited for the project a few months before we met. And when I heard Bucky was missing, Agent Carter and Stark helped me get to the base…I only found Bucky." He sighed softly and then dug a hand into his pant pocket, pulling out something shiny. "Bette gave this to me,"

"Bette? Where is she?"

"After you went missing she left the Army and went back to Hawaii." He reached for my hand and placed my locket in my palm. "She said it always brought you luck…I guess it did me too."

I carefully placed the locket around my neck, my fingertips gracing the cold silver as I spoke again. "What happens now?"

"I don't know." Steve shrugged.


	7. Tiny Heart

**7 – Tiny Heart**

My reflection appeared unchanged, every feature I'd seen two years before still existed but my muscles were more defined and my stomach was flat, with no slight bump to remind me of the weight I gained during puberty. I ran my hands over the crisp new military uniform and then straightened my olive green tie as there was a knock upon the door.

"Come in," my red painted lips curved into a smile as Agent Carter walked in. "Good morning Peggy,"

She'd been to visit me the day before, explaining my tests all came back normal and that doctors and scientists alike couldn't explain what kind of serum Zola created. I was released from my little prison and allowed to stay at the barracks. The formality dropped between us the week before when she noticed Steve keeping his distance, actually everyone kept their distance from me, not knowing what to expect.

"How are you feeling this morning Gin?"

"I'm fine," I turned round and reached for the olive blazer lying at the bottom of the single bed, gently pulling it on. "What brings you here?"

"Colonel Phillips has asked me to bring you in; he wants you to be a part of the assault on HYDRA's last known base in the Alps."

"Zola gave you the location?"

She nodded folding her arms across her chest. "It's our last chance to get Schmidt. Captain Rogers is leading the mission."

"As much as I'd like to get my hands on Schmidt, I don't think Steve will appreciate having me around."

I lowered myself onto the edge of the bed, glancing towards the open window where the thin curtains lightly flapped in the cool breeze. Peggy walked over and sat beside me, her brown eyes boring into me until I met her gaze.

"Does it have something to do with whatever happened between you and James Barnes?"

"Maybe, he actually hasn't said what the issue is."

"Have you tried to speak with him?" I lightly shook my head. "Perhaps you're avoiding him as much as he's avoiding you." Her words made more sense than I liked. "I happen to know he's in his room on the floor below, and the Colonel doesn't need to see you until this afternoon."

"Very convenient Agent Carter," she smiled thoughtfully and I rose from the bed. "I'll see you this afternoon then."

I left the room and followed the vacant corridor to the stairs, descending to the next level and ignored the way my heart started pounding rapidly the closer I drew towards Steve's room. But before I had a handle of my sudden nerves, I was standing before his door and unwittingly knocking upon it. I only waited a few seconds and the door swung opened revealing Steve dressed in a pair of plain brown pants and white T-shirt, which I shamefully noted clung to his toned physique.

"Hi,"

"Hi,"

"Could we talk?"

"I'm actually in the middle of something." He replied and my gaze shifted to the lightly swinging boxing bag set up in the corner of the room.

"That's fine; you can do that and listen at the same time I presume?" My eyebrow arched as an instant redness appeared in the apple of his cheeks, and he released the door walking over to the boxing bag. I entered the room, closing the door behind me and quietly watched him throw a couple of punches before speaking. "Does it bother you that I have a similar serum running through my veins?"

"No." He puffed keeping his back firmly to me.

"Does it bother you that I volunteered to come over here?"

"No."

I walked over to the bed, running my fingers over the cold metal frame as I stated my last question. "So you're bothered that James and I kissed?"

He delivered a hard blow to the boxing bag and sighed loudly, his shoulders hunching forward as his hands gently held the bag to stop it from swinging. "Yeah, that bothers me."

"I can't explain why it happened."

"Did you have feelings for him?"

The sweetest lie I could ever tell lingered on my tongue and it would've been spoken if Steve hadn't chosen that exact moment to turn around and face me.

"We became good friends while we were in the same camp." I stated firmly and he frowned.

"That's not an answer."

"What difference does it make? I can't take anything that happened back, whether I want to or not." I glanced at the floor. "We've lost enough already, can't we at least be civil enough to agree on that?"

"I'm sorry Gin, I know you've been through a lot lately –"

"But that doesn't change anything between us though does it?" He didn't answer, but I didn't need him to voice it aloud when his expression revealed everything. "What happened to not letting me get away?" I asked quietly. "When I was stationed in Italy, and things got hard, I'd think of that and I'd look through the journal you gave me. It got me through those days when all I saw were blood and death. And yes, being around James helped as well, he made me laugh and god dammit Steve I won't be made to feel guilty for it!" I snapped abruptly, releasing the bed frame to slap his handsome face as tears formed at the corners of my eyes.

I slapped him again for good measure and turned on my heel, motioning to storm off and escape to my room where the miserable cloud hovering over me could enfold me completely but Steve reached for my arm, tugging me back to face him. I vainly fought him, pounding my fists against his hard chest as his arms snaked around me, holding me close until I finally melted into his embrace, sobbing into his shirt.

-x-

"You use that blade like a pro,"

I glimpsed over my shoulder while plucking the Bowie knife out of the wooden board set up for target practice, noticing Howard Stark was watching me with some delight as the serum enhanced my basic fighting skills. I walked over to the charming, dark-haired man, standing with his arms folded against his expensive shirt.

"My father is a doctor; he taught me a few things." I smiled and extended the Bowie knife to him. "I like your improved handle, you were right, the grip doesn't slip and it's lighter."

"And what did you think about the uniform?"

I lightly shook my head following him over to the wooden table where he'd set up a range of specialize weapons. "You will never see me in that tight cat suit Howard."

"I had to try," he chuckled.

"Of course you did."

"So are you determined to go with Captain Rogers tomorrow?"

"More than most I daresay, I owe Schmidt a bullet for ruining my life." I replied lightly brushing a fallen strand of hair out of my gaze.

"You wish you didn't have the serum in you?"

"I wish I'd never volunteered for this stupid war." I muttered glimpsing over my shoulder to where Steve stood on the opposite side of the underground headquarters, discussing tomorrow's battle plan with Colonel Phillips and Peggy.

Despite my breakdown earlier on, it still felt like there was a barrier between me and Steve. I would never admit my feelings for James allowed, even thinking it caused me guilt. So I'd focus on getting Schmidt and deal with everything else after that.

"I wouldn't be too hard on yourself kid, you make it through tomorrow and you'll be a hero." I looked at Howard as he extended the Bowie knife in its sheath to me. "I can't imagine anyone else handling it better than you,"

"Thanks Howard." I accepted his gift, mentally preparing myself for a battle I swore to walk away from this time.


	8. One Last Time

**A/N - **_ Read and Enjoy!_

**8 – One Last Time.**

Peggy and I stood on the edge of the dense forest, loading our weapons. She favoured a rifle while I preferred two small handguns, and Howard's improved Bowie knife in a sheath attached to my ankle. I gently placed a couple of grenades in my utility belt, not feeling any nerves about the approaching battle. I'd been to this dance before, and knew the steps by heart.

"Gin?"

I glanced up from securing my belt to see Steve marching towards me in his Captain America uniform. The sight roused the soldiers around us, stirring the courage within them and made my heart flutter. He gently took my elbow and led me to a quiet space out of earshot from the crowd, he pulled off his helmet but his blue eyes struggled to look at me. Another familiar dance, we both knew.

"I still don't think you should come," he stated quietly. "We don't know anything about the serum in you –"

"I owe Schmidt a bullet for ruining my life." I replied.

"I thought you might like this," he pulled a small square photograph from his pant pocket. "We got it done at Coney Island a few years back." I gently took the photograph and smiled down at Steve and James' smiling faces. "And I think he'd want you to have his spare set of dog-tags."

I peeked up at him through my lashes, unable to find any sort of words as he placed the tin dog-tags over my head. He curled his arm round my neck, lightly kissing my forehead as I wrapped my arms round his waist and held him close against me.

"I love you Gin." He murmured, reminding me of the moment we shared on the beach, and much like that afternoon, it felt like the last time we'd be together again.

He removed himself from my embrace and pulled on his helmet, flashing me a smile before he walked off towards his men. I swallowed the emotion forming in my throat and made my way back to where Peggy waited.

"Are you okay?"

I shrugged clutching James' dog-tags, watching as Steve climbed onto his motorbike and roared off into the forest, while all we could do was wait for his signal.

-x-

I shoved my empty gun back into the holster, snatching the Bowie knife in my ankle sheath. It was a messy weapon but it got the job done. My arm flew up from my side, the blade reflecting the neon lights above as it slid across the delicate skin of the nearest HYDRA soldier. Crimson blood spilled from the open crevasse as I spun gracefully around the falling body to take out my next victim. It astonished me that I didn't feel anything for these poor souls, but my life was worth as much as theirs, if I didn't kill them, they'd do worse to me and mine.

"Agent Renard!" A short gust of air passed my lips as I glanced over my shoulder to discover Colonel Phillips surveying my scene of destruction. At least twenty dead soldiers lingered along the corridor. "I think they're all dead."

"Good." I muttered and returned the knife to the sheath. "Where's Steve?"

"He's with Schmidt, on his aircraft. We're trying to contact him on the radio." He waved me over raising his eyebrows at me as I rubbed my bloodied hands against my pants. "I think we can confirm this as a sign Zola's serum worked."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"I think it makes you very valuable."

I followed him to a communications room where Peggy sat by a microphone, talking quietly into it.

"_T__here's not gonna be a safe landing, but I can try and force it down,"_

"I'll get Howard on the line. He'll know what to do."

"_There's not enough time."_ My chested caved in as Steve's voice filled the room. _"This thing's moving too fast and it's heading for __New York. I gotta put her in the water."_

"Don't do this, we have time. We can work it out."

"_Right now I'm in the middle of nowhere. If I wait any longer a lot of people are gonna die. This is my choice Peggy."_

Peggy glanced sadly up at me. "Steve, Genevieve is here." She slid out of the chair and I slowly sank into it, reaching out to grasp the microphone.

"_Gin?"_

"I'm here Steve."

"_I'm sorry,"_

"You can make it up to me," I forced myself to smile so I wouldn't tear up again.

"_Yeah? You want us to do something together?"_

"I was thinking we could take a trip somewhere,"

"_Somewhere nice?"_

"New Zealand, you'd love it there."

"_You wanna show me around?"_

"Yes,"

"_It's a date, I'll meet you there Gin and –"_

"Steve?" I only heard the quiet hiss of static reply. "Steve are you there?"

My grasp of the microphone loosened as I choked on a sob, Peggy wrapped her arms round me as my emotions imploded. I hung my head crying freely as her whispered words couldn't console my broken heart. I silently prayed that this was a nightmare, and any moment I would wake up but as the radio static continued to buzz; my lips released a shaky breath and my eyes closed. Steve was gone.

-x-

Despite the events leading up to Steve's final act of bravery, the war raged on for another few months. I channelled my depression into rage, taking it out on any enemy soldiers I came into contact with, and created an infamous reputation for myself in the process. They called me Venus Doom, because anyone that fell for my pretty face ended up meeting their end.

The government used me for secret missions, mostly assassin type operations that involved killing high ranking Nazi's and their supporters – I accepted the jobs no one dared too. I pushed my body and mind to the extremes, testing the limits of the serum pumping through my veins. The only side effects I didn't like so far were my ravenous appetite and the inability to get drunk.

Peggy vainly attempted to talk me out of suicidal missions, but she'd be the first to sigh with relief when I'd coming waltzing into the next meeting safe and sound. I discovered a friend in Howard, who took it upon himself to craft some specialized weapons for me and led the search in the Atlantic to find the wreckage of Schmidt's aircraft. They were the life preserve that kept me from completely drowning in misery.

The announcement of the war ending brought celebration amongst the masses, creating the type of happiness no one had felt in many years. I sat in the underground base in London, watching the remaining SSR agents and soldiers go about the business of clearing up, while I consumed the last bottle of Colonel Phillips favourite brand of whiskey. I heard the familiar tapping of heels, and smelt the flowery perfume Peggy wore before I saw her. She claimed the chair beside me and placed a couple of worn files in front of me.

"I thought you might want to hold onto these."

I passed her my glass of whiskey and carefully opened the first file to discover it was everything about Steve. I sighed softly and pulled out the black and white photograph on top of the papers revealing the skinny kid from Brooklyn.

"The was taken the day I met him,"

"Do you think we'll ever find him?"

"I truly hope so."

I closed the file, and reached for the next one. James' name printed in black letters stood out and I couldn't bring myself to look at his photograph. I wasn't ready to confront the idea of life without either of them. Peggy silently sipped from my glass as I pushed the files back towards her.

"You keep them Peggy."

"Look at these sad faces!" We looked up as Howard waltzed over, wearing an expensive suit and disarming smile. "We should be out celebrating!"

"We are," Peggy held up the glass. "Happy VE day."

"How about I take you girls to dinner and then dancing?" He leaned causally against the table edge beside me, his dark brown eyes lit up in a contagious spark of delight, which even I couldn't help but embrace.

"Sounds good to me, I'll go and get my purse." Peggy set the glass down as she rose, walking off as I looked up at Howard.

"How are you doing Gin?"

"Depends on the day," I replied and he reached out to lightly pinch my cheek.

"Well I may have a job for you. I have a friend who's come up with the idea of putting a team together, people with unique talents to undertake missions of a delicate nature. No red tape or government interference."

"This friend of yours, is he trustworthy?"

Howard nodded folding his arms across his chest, knowing he had captured my interest. "You might've heard of him during your travels, his name is Nicolas Fury."

"Nicolas Fury," I murmured and slowly nodded my head recalling faint whispers of the man. "I've heard of him, he's quite the man of mystery."

"You have no idea." Howard smiled. "Should I set up a meeting with him?"

"I'm ready." Peggy's voice broke through our conversation and I rose from my chair, curtly nodding to Howard. I needed something to occupy my time, and continue putting Doctor Zola's serum to good work.

"I'm in."


	9. The Winter Soldier

**A/N -**_ I wasn't gonna post this for a another couple of days but after talking to Shaybo27 I wanted to see what you all thought._

_Yes, I got in my Delorean and hit 88 miles to timetravel into the future._

**9 ****– The Winter Soldier.**

(November 1990)

The dingy strip club was bathed in hues of neon coloured lights, half-naked women were everywhere rubbing seductively against their male counterparts for a few dollars. My scantily clad hips swayed slowly, despite the fast techno beat vibrating through the speakers as my hazel eyes, revealed only through a simple silver mask scanned the area for my target.

"Target acquired," a firm female voice filtered through my ear piece. I shifted my attention towards one of the small lit up platforms in the middle of the room, where my Russian counterpart; Natalia Romanova danced. "No boss though Venus."

"Coming to you Widow," I hopped off my own platform, walking gracefully through the crowd towards the curvy redhead. I stepped up onto her platform, curling an arm loosely round her waist as my red painted lips stretched into a smile. "We need the Winter Soldier,"

"No one knows what he really looks like."

"We'll take out his man then," she curtly nodded, allowing me to take her hand as we stepped off the platform.

We walked over to the burly Russian claiming one of the VIP booths, his firm square jaw suggested he was a stern man and he had the harden features of a career criminal. He nursed a shot of vodka, sculling the clear liquor as his dark eyes found us emerging through the crowd. His thin lips curved into a smile as we flashed him a dazzling smile. Natalia combed her red curls over a shoulder, and then waved her finger causing him to grin and rise from the couch. We lead him to the back of the club where the private rooms were located; Natalia flirted with him in Russian while I allowed one of his hands to grab my backside.

I found us an empty room and led the three of us inside. Natalia closed the door as I faced the man, leaning my body against his toned chest as I stared up into his dark eyes. The moment he grabbed my hips and threw me onto the bed, Natalia kicked him in the back. He stumbled forward, crashing onto the bed as I slipped off. Natalia jumped him, easily capturing his neck in a chokehold.

"Where's the Winter Soldier?"

"Fuck you!" He hissed.

I raised an eyebrow at Natalia and she smirked. I reached out and patted the Russian down as his eyes started to droop. I discovered a cell phone inside his jacket and a gun in his boot.

"How do you contact him?"

"P-phone."

I shoved the phone into his grasp and Natalia loosened her hold of his throat. "Call him."

"He'll kill me!" He gasped.

"I'd be more worried about what we'll do to you." I bent down and pulled my favourite blade out of my knee-high boot. I walked towards the Russian, his dark eyes following the blade as I rested it lightly against his knee. "Call him,"

"Who are you?"

"I said call him."

He didn't move and the sharp tip broke through the material of his pants. "O-okay!"

He made the most important phone call of his life. He spoke in Russian, glaring at me until I snatched the phone to speak to Nick Fury's most wanted.

"Winter Soldier?"

"_Who's this?"_

"Venus,"

"_Ah," _I noted the hint of an American accent, a small fact that would be useful when I wrote up my report. _"The beautiful spy that lures men to their doom. I've admired your work over the past couple of years –"_

"Save your confessions for interrogation. You're going to meet me, at the docks tonight, 10pm sharp,"

"_And why would I do that?"_

"Because you don't want to find out how good I am at my job," I heard him chuckle and plunged my blade into his man's leg, holding out the phone so he'd hear the strangled cry. "How many pieces do you want your man in?"

"_What makes you think I care about him?"_

"You should, because I'm thinking he'll rat you out in half a second to save himself."

"_Fine. I'll meet with you tonight Venus, but you come alone and unarmed."_

"Only if you do."

"_Alright, if you look as charming as you sound, I think we'll get on just fine."_

I snapped the phone close and slipped it into my boot, nodding at Natalia. "Take him into custody. I've got a meeting to prepare for."

-x-

I stood on the moonlit bathed docks, listening to the wave's crash against the ships in port and slap against the wooden wharf. I inhaled the deep sea breeze tangling within my ponytail and kept my hazel eyes firmly focused on the surrounding vacant area.

"Widow, how's your view?"

"_There's a car pulling up."_

"How many?" I folded my arms across my chest.

"_Four, maybe five. There could be others in the surrounding area; this place is full of nice hiding spots for snipers."_

"If the bastard wants to kill me he can get in line." I muttered hearing a car door slam in the distance.

My enhanced senses heard the single footsteps of a man, walking over the wood. He walked confidently, calmly. If he was the Winter Soldier, he wasn't in fear for his life or of being captured. A figure appeared before me, lingering in the shadow of a warehouse.

"You're Venus?"

"Only if you're the Winter Soldier."

Nothing could've prepared me for what I was about to see. The man I'd been tracking for months stepped into the moonlight and revealed himself to be a man I knew to be dead. My arms fell away to my sides as I swallowed hard, a numb state of shock overcoming me.

"James?"

"How do you know that name?"

I motioned to step towards James Barnes but managed to stop myself. He appeared to be in good condition, seemingly unaged but his brown hair was longer, shaggier and framing his curious blue eyes. A thousand questions lingered on my tongue but the spy overruled the lovesick woman within me.

"Take him." I murmured.

Within seconds the dock was crowded with SHIELD agents. Leading them was my boss Nick Fury, he also happened to be the only child of my old friend Nicolas Fury. His leather jacket flapped behind him as he marched towards me, silently watching James being handcuffed and led away without a fight to the black vans that pulled up.

"Did you know?" I asked staring after James.

"Did I know what Agent Renard?"

I looked at Nick, studying his sharp features that had a hawkish handsomeness to it, and even with the eye patch, his good left brown eye could stare me down. "Did you know James was the Winter Soldier?"

"I'd heard rumours –"

"I saw him fall off the HYDRA train…I saw it goddammit! That can't be the James Barnes I knew, it can't be." I shook my head ignoring the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. "He can't have been alive all this time."

"Did he recognize you?"

"No –"

"Good, he's in our custody now and your mission is over. You can return to headquarters, I'll have the jet waiting for you at 0600 hours."

I shook my head, refusing to be brushed aside. "I want in on the interrogation –"

"You've been given the order to stand down Agent Renard! I won't let your past stand in the way of gathering important Intel." Fury turned on his heel and walked away, but I lingered on the docks unable to make sense of everything that had transpired.


	10. Heartbreak Down

**A/N - **_Been super busy working on another project. But thank you to Shaybo27 for giving this and the next chapter the once over! You're awesome!_

**10 – Heartbreak Down.**

I flashed my SHIELD badge and gained access into the remote warehouse on the outskirts of Moscow. I pulled off my woollen beanie and mittens, my combat boots marching across the large room to where a single room had been constructed to hold the Winter Soldier.

I saw Fury standing behind the computer equipment set up to monitor the room, in this light he looked like his old man who'd recently passed away. Fury took over SHIELD, commanding the agents in the same manner his father did. His posture stiffened as I approached and eventually stood beside him.

"You're meant to be in the air Agent Renard." He stated clasping his hands behind his back as we both stared stubbornly at the screens.

"Don't treat me like a newbie Fury, I've been at this longer than you –"

"Yes but unlike you, my past isn't connected with the former Sergeant Barnes," we glanced at each other.

"He didn't recognize me, why?"

"He was found five years ago by a Russian exploration team; they found his body frozen in ice and took it back to Moscow, where he was taken into KGB custody. They were able to defrost him but he had no memory of his former life. We believe Doctor Zola may have used a serum much like yours and Captain Rogers on him during your capture, so when he fell from the HYDRA train and into the ice the cold preserved his body. And you know that he's been their best assassin since then."

"I want to speak with him –"

"I don't think that's a good idea,"

"I wasn't asking Fury. I might be the only one that can help him remember his past,"

"That wasn't the point of the mission! He's to be questioned about the high-ranking officials he works for –"

"Fury!" I snapped facing him. "I never questioned your father's orders, or yours. And I sure as hell have never asked for anything, so you're going to let me speak to him!"

He reluctantly nodded and I undid my jacket, dropping it on the nearest spare table, along with my beanie and mittens.

"Leave your weapons too." I removed the sidearm attached to my thigh, and walked towards the door grasping the handle as Fury spoke again. "We'll be watching Agent Renard."

I turned the handle and stepped into the simple square room. James sat casually reclined in his chair, feet up on the wooden table, acting as if this was some sort of vacation for him.

"Ah, I wondered when they'd bring you in. I assume you're going to use your charms in hopes of getting the answers to your questions?" His eyebrow rose as I closed the door behind me and crossed the room, lowering myself into the chair opposite him.

I didn't say anything as I removed the tin dog-tags from around my neck and placed them in the middle of the table, instantly feeling naked without them. They'd hardly left their position around my neck, being the only physical piece of him I had left. His blue eyes darted towards them and he lowered his feet off the table, reaching for them.

"Where did you get these?"

"Those were given to me by our mutual friend; Steve Rogers in 1945." He studied the dog-tags, running his fingers over his name. "I met you in Italy, at a makeshift American Army base in December 1942. I was stationed there as a nurse, and you were with the 107th infantry."

"That's not possible," he tossed the dog-tags back at me. "I'm twenty-seven –"

"You're actually seventy-two, and I turn seventy in June. But I still look twenty-five, the age I was when Johann Schmidt's soldiers captured me and injected me with a special serum. The effects slowed the aging process and made me a faster, stronger person."

"I thought you were meant to be interrogating me? Not telling me your life story," he chuckled folding his arms across his chest.

"My story isn't that much different than yours, other than the fact I thought you were dead all these years. But we believe you were injected with the same serum I was."

He rolled his eyes, rising from his chair to lean threateningly towards me. "I don't know you lady, so why don't you send your boss back in and let the men talk."

I ignore his scornful tone as I rose from the chair, moving around the table and reached out to clutch his leather jacket. "Kiss me."

"Excuse me?"

"Kiss me." I asked quietly, softly inhaling his scent and instantly felt transported back in time to the day we first kissed at the HYDRA base.

He wrapped an arm round my waist while the other hand cupped my face. His blue eyes darted from mine and down to my parted lips before we kissed. I relaxed against his chest, losing my fingers within his hair.

"AGENT RENARD!"

Fury's sharp tone over the intercom broke the spell, our lips parting and I unwittingly released a sigh as I stared into James' blue eyes. The smooth skin of his forehead furrowed as his thumb brushed against my cheekbone and then bottom lip.

"Renard?"

Goosebumps broke out upon my flesh as he whispered my last name, tears beginning to form at the corner of my eyes.

"You remember me?"

"No." A sinister smirk played on his lips as his arms fell from around me. "But your kiss was pleasant enough Venus. I wouldn't mind spending the night with you, just to find out if you live up the hype."

I slapped him hard across the cheek and stalked out of the room. The sound of the slamming door and Fury's voice became a distant hum as I struggled to control the rapid beat of my heart. I braced my hands against my knees, bending over in a vain attempt to catch my breath but ended up choking on a sob.

I couldn't remember the last time I cried. Probably when Howard called me, asking me to be godmother to his son Tony and that was back in 1970. I was a harden spy, a solid wall being built around my heart the day I woke on the HYDRA train. The day James seemingly died, and the day Steve walked back into my life.

I felt Fury reach for my elbow, dragging me towards a plastic chair where I sat, ignoring the hot tears streaming down my face as I glanced up at him.

"I'll have an agent take you to the airstrip."

"I-I thought…" I clumsily ran my shirt sleeve beneath my nose.

"I know." Fury replied calmly. "We don't know what the Russian's might've done to him. His memories may come back in time, but for now he's a threat. Ewell, will you take Agent Renard to the airstrip."

A slender, dark-haired man barely out of his teens came to attention. "Yes sir."

"I'll be in contact if anything changes. I suggest you take a couple of weeks leave –"

"I never taken leave," I scoffed. "Not even during any of the wars. All I've got is my work!"

"Why don't you visit Stark?"

"He and Maria are celebrating their anniversary in the Alps." I muttered rising from the chair and grabbed my jacket, roughly tugging it on when a thought struck me. "But there's someone I haven't seen in a while, I wouldn't mind seeing them."

"Good, the pilot will take you wherever you want to go."

I nodded, blindly following the young Agent Ewell from the warehouse.

-x-

Peggy Carter lived in a small cottage on the outskirts of a farming community where she was born and raised in England. My dear friend had lost her husband the year before to cancer, he was brilliant RAF pilot and I was proud to admit I'd introduced them.

I studied the photos lined up along the fireplace mantel, admiring the smiling faces of her children and grandchildren. I heard her enter the living room and glanced over my shoulder. To me she still looked the same, there were just a few more wrinkles on her face and her hair was almost a silvery grey – yet styled as if she was still in the Army.

"They've grown so fast," I accepted the cup of tea and we sat upon the plush divan. "But then I still can't believe Tony is almost twenty-one,"

"Time seems to fly," she smiled.

"Sometimes more slowly than I'd like."

"What brings you here Genevieve?" I glanced at her as I swallowed my mouthful of tea. The woman was still sharp; her agent skills never dull despite her age. "You never visit unless something is troubling you."

"James Barnes is still alive." She shook her head but stopped upon studying my sombre expression. "I've seen him with my own eyes…he doesn't know who he is. He has no memory of me, Steve or his life before five years ago."

"How is that possible?"

"I think he was injected with a serum too. He was found frozen by a group of Russians…I can't say much more than that. Fury's on my case enough as it is."

"And he didn't know you at all?"

I sadly shook my head, the teacup trembling in my grasp. "It's karma Peggy! I fell for Steve…but then I met James and…I lost him and then Steve. And I'm forced to just keep on living, watching the years pass without aging…without anyone!"

She took the cup from my grasp, setting them aside as I buried my face in my hands and wept. She wrapped her arms around me, cradling me against her. Even after the tears finally stopped falling she gently combed a hand through my hair, humming softly until I fell asleep.


	11. Remembering

**A/N –**_ Um, so I don't know if you think this is dragging on or not, I guess if you're waiting for Steve to come back, you might hate me when you scroll down further. But I promise the Captain will be returning in about two or three chapters. I'm a fair way ahead so hopefully you'll be happy with how things develop._

**11 – Remembering.**

(January 1991)

I spent the holidays in England with Peggy and her family, their festive mood contagious and it lifted my spirits enough for me to push James to the back of mind.

It was only usually after missions, when I'd be alone in my quarters at SHIELD's base in California, that the loneliness would creep in around me. My work kept me distracted. My mind was always on the next task and the next mission so I wouldn't be able to dwell on everything I'd lost because of the serum.

After being captured by HYRDA soldiers, and subjected to their experiments, the US Army listed me as MIA. That remained my status, even after I woke up and to this very day in hopes of protecting my family, but me also. My younger brother; Gabriel was killed in action a month before World War Two ended, but I wasn't informed until my father committed suicide a year later. The grief of losing two of his children in war was too much for him to bear. My mother however carried on, passing away peacefully in 1980, leaving only my younger sister; Grace, who still remained in New Zealand.

I may have lost my blood relatives because of the serum, but I gained a few more – two when Howard married a high fashion Italian model; Maria, and then when their son; Tony came along. I doted upon my godson and Peggy's children as well. Especially after learning the serum had destroyed my ovaries. I'd never be able to produce my own children and it had been a huge blow. But it was just another reason to keep on working. I took out the bad guys to keep my extended family safe.

"Genevieve, there's a telephone call for you."

I closed the novel I'd been reading and slipped out of the armchair by the fire, heading into the kitchen to take the phone from Peggy. She continued to clean up after her family's departure earlier in the day.

"Hello?"

"_Renard, it's Fury."_

"You've got news?" My fingers went to grasp James' dog-tags only to find my neck bare. I hadn't worn them since leaving Russia.

"_James Barnes tried to escape last week__. He was taken down by our agents, but knocked his head when he fell, suffering a bad concussion. I went to speak with him yesterday and the medical team informed me he'd been asking about Captain Rogers."_

I swallowed hard, leaning back against the kitchen counter. "Are you saying what I think you're saying Fury?"

"_The doctors believe the blow might've brought his memory back. So far he's been able to recall the events leading up his fall from the train in 1945." _I sighed softly glancing at Peggy as she's stopped cleaning to listen. _"We're running tests now, but he's asked after you."_

My heart fluttered. "He has?"

"_He asked if you were ever found. I gave him a brief run down, including what happened to Captain Rogers."_

"Are you still in Russia?"

"_Yes, we're __at the airfield base. I can have a jet ready for you in thirty minutes."_

"I'm on my way, and thank you Fury…for letting me know."

"_Don't go soft on my Renard."_

I heard his smile through his tone. "I won't."

I hung up and combed my hands back through my hair as Peggy appeared at my side.

"What's happened?"

"James remembers everything." I whispered.

-x-

One of SHIELD's bases in Russia was an abandoned airfield just outside St. Petersburg. By the state of it, no one would ever believe there was a hive of activity underground where a series of buildings had been constructed.

I marched quickly through the concrete facility, making my way to the medical centre where I found Fury waiting alone. I peered around at the makeshift hospital, finding the beds empty and the doctors nowhere.

"Where is he Fury?"

"We moved him to one of the quarters on the detention level."

"You don't believe his memory has come back?"

"I believe in a securely locked door." He pulled a small plastic card from his jacket pocket and extended it to me. "When he's given the all clear, we will continue to question him."

"I understand." I accepted the card, trying to hide my happiness as I made my way to the nearest elevator, going to the second level where prisoners were usually held.

I spied a couple of security cameras in the vacant corridor, knowing there were none in the cells. I found James' quarters and swiped the card, not knowing what to expect as the steel door slid open. The small room had the basic items that a prison cell would have, all in stainless steel form. James sat on the single bunk in the far corner, dressed plainly in blue scrubs; his brown hair now cut short and neatly combed back. A short sigh parted my lips and his head rose, his blue eyes widening as he jumped to his feet.

"GIN!"

I ran over, practically throwing myself at him. His arms easily enfolded me, holding me painfully tight against him as I buried my face in his neck.

"I thought you were dead." He mumbled.

"I know, I thought the same about you." I leaned back against his arms, allowing my fingers to touch his face. He moulded his face against my palm, gently kissing the skin and making my lips curve.

"You look as exactly as I remember," he murmured as I ran my hand back through his hair.

He tilted his head slightly and softly pressed his lips against mine. He pulled back to see my reaction, the faint hint of a smirk tugged at my lips as I brought his mouth back to mine. I'd forgotten what it felt like to be held and kissed by a man I actually had feelings for, rather than a target I had to use to obtain information.

When our lips parted, he rested his forehead against mine; relishing the moment we could catch our breath back.

"I've thought about you every day since we parted outside the HYDRA base." I whispered.

"Me too. You looked cute in that baggy uniform, with dirt smudged on your face," he lightly kissed along my jaw, reaching for my jacket zip and brought it down the track. I didn't mind the bold move, I needed him as much as he needed me. "And you had that stubborn look…you weren't gonna let anyone talk you out of going into that base."

He pushed the bulky thing over my shoulders and down my arms, revealing the simple leather cat-suit. I might've sworn in the past never to wear it, but it was oddly practical, especially during fights.

"I have that look often," I murmured letting my head fall back as his mouth pressed into my neck, nuzzling the delicate skin as he unzipped the suit.

"Good, it drives me crazy."

My arms uncurled from around his neck and gently slid down his chest, pausing a moment over his heart to feel the strong beat play against my palm. I stared up into blue eyes as my fingers felt his muscles tense beneath the thin material of his shirt. I lightly tugged at the hem of his shirt and his grasp of my waist released so we could discard the shirt.

I chewed on my bottom lip I kissed him sweetly, tenderly brushing my nose against his before I kicked off my boots. James inhaled sharply as I peeled the leather suit away from my bare skin, letting it pile on the floor as I stepped out and over it. I grabbed his face, kissing him again, carefully walking us back towards the bed where we fell.

-x-

I rested comfortably within James' arms, our limbs tangled beneath the scratchy woollen blankets covering the bunk bed. His fingers lightly danced up and down my arm, while my head laid upon his chest.

"What are they gonna do with me?"

"They'll want to question you about your time with the Russians."

"I did some horrible things." He admitted quietly and I glanced up at him.

"You didn't know any better James, torturing yourself with what ifs won't make it any easier to deal with. You just need to be honest with Fury, and he'll be honest with you."

He sighed. "How did you get involved with all this spy stuff?"

"It's a long story."

"I'm not going anywhere." He kissed my forehead but I didn't feel comfortable admitting to the things I'd done over the years, and especially not admitting that I was romantically involved with his best friend. "Gin?"

I sat up hugging the blankets against my chest. "I joined SHIELD before the end of the war, mainly working assassination jobs. Back then, no one knew anything about the serum in me and the only other person like me was…gone."

"Y'mean Steve?" I nodded as his face appeared within my thoughts. "He was my friend; we grew up together…even fought in the war after he found me at HYDRA's base. I still can't believe he's gone."

"Neither can I." I whispered as there was an abrupt thud against the door.

"AGENT RENARD, THE DIRECTOR WANTS TO SEE YOU!"

"Shit." I muttered climbing over James and quickly redressed. I pulled on my boots, glancing back at him as he held the blanket round his waist, flashing me a small smile as he walked over.

"Will you come back?"

"If Fury lets me." I kissed him softly and left the cell, awkwardly bumping into Fury at the end of the corridor. He raised an eyebrow as I pulled on my jacket. "You wanted to see me?"

"We're taking Sergeant Barnes back to the States; the KGB knows we're here. It'll be safer to question him at headquarters."

"What will happen to him afterwards?"

"That decision lies with the board of Directors; if they deem it prudent they might offer him a place with SHIELD,"

"And if not?"

"We'll see."

"What are my orders?"

"You're Sergeant Barnes security detail." He replied simply and I attempted not to look too pleased by my new assignment. Instead I managed a small smile.

"Fury, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."


	12. Peggy's Faith

**A/N - Maybe this chapter will clear some things up!**

**Audrey Whyte - Don't worry my dear, everything will be explained. And thank you for your constant reviews!**

**Ali - I didn't want to drag the loss of memory out too long, beause Gin and Bucky hooking up was always gonna happen in my head.**

**AdonCa - *evil laugh* you will have to wait and see my dear.**

* * *

**12 – Peggy's Faith.**

(December 1991)

The cold winter rain pounded against the stain-glass windows while I sat silently in the pew positioned before the polished caskets draped in white roses. The priests' monotone voice washed over me, his prayers unable to console the depression hovering like a dark cloud over my head.

I didn't recall the blur of moments and emotions from the past week as I felt myself still lingering in the morning when Fury turned up at my quarters, interrupting the romantic dinner James and I were sharing. I remembered the grim look plastered upon his face as he told me Howard and Maria Stark had died in a car accident. I rose from the chair the same time my knees gave out beneath me and James caught me in his arms before I reached the floor.

When I opened my eyes, the memory faded and the large gathering of mourners rose from the pews, collecting their jackets and umbrellas. Six men from Stark Industries and SHIELD stood beside the caskets, each taking a handle to lift them off their perch.

My hands ran over the simple black dress I wore, smoothing out the wrinkles I failed to iron out the day before. I tugged on my tweed jacket, slipping the big round buttons through the holes, glancing at James who watched me vigilantly. But I turned to my godson Tony, who'd sat stiffly beside me. His dark brown eyes stared straight ahead, seemingly blank of any emotion. The twenty-one year old man hadn't spoken to anyone in days, and wallowed in a drunken haze in a hotel room downtown.

"Tony…it's time." I murmured resting my hand upon his shoulder, startling him. He looked up at me and lightly shook his head.

"I'm staying here."

"I want you to come and stay with me for a while." I stated seeing Maria's features present in his face, but his brain was hardwired like Howard's.

"I don't need a babysitter Gin."

"Will you at least give me some peace of mind and call me later?"

"You know I won't." He mumbled staring ahead as his parents caskets were slowly carried pass us.

"Fine, I'll call you then." I kissed his forehead, lightly running a hand through his hair as I'd done when he was younger. He closed his eyes briefly. "I love you kid."

I pulled away and slipped my hand into James', letting his long fingers lock through mine as we followed the caskets from the church and towards the cemetery.

The mourners surrounded the neatly dug out holes. The rain continued to fall in thick drops, splashing dirt upon my shoes and soaking my loose brown waves. I swallowed hard, as the caskets were lowered into their new homes and more flowers were thrown by those whimpering and sobbing for the loss of the two dear people. I looked away from the earthy holes, peering through the gap in the crowd to see Peggy. She gently pressed a tissue to the corner of her brown eyes, while the other hand held an umbrella over her head. She caught my gaze and managed a feeble smile. I broke away from James and pushed my way through the crowd, running through the puddles to reach her and embrace her tightly.

"I didn't think you'd come." I murmured leaning back to smile at her.

"I wanted to pay my respects."

"I'm glad you're here." I hugged her again.

-x-

After the service, James, Peggy and I went to a local diner. We claimed a corner booth and pot of strong black coffee. Before we realized it, we were reminiscing about the old days.

"…so Gin patched me up, and swore if she ever saw me again she'd give me another black eye." James chuckled resting his arm on the back of the booth behind me as he looked at me. "The next day I had two black eyes, but I knew her name."

"You never did take no for an answer," I smiled as he leaned close and kissed me.

"You were the prettiest thing I'd ever seen." He replied resting his forehead against mine.

"I see you two picked up where you left off."

We glanced across the table at Peggy, but while James chuckled again, I felt myself blush. As we'd been friends for many years, she admitted eventually that Steve had told her about our relationship. He'd confided in her after James was found at the HYDRA base, upset after hearing what James and I had gone through. Suddenly I felt like I was trapped between the two men again.

"I wouldn't say that Peggy, we didn't have a chance to get together during the war. But we're making up for it now." James kissed my cheek. "I need to use the bathroom, excuse me ladies."

He slid out of the booth and I tapped my black painted nails against the table.

"Don't ask me,"

"Ask you what?"

"You know what." She raised an eyebrow at me and I caved. "No, I haven't told him about me and Steve, and I don't bloody well plan too. He's happier not knowing, he's working for SHIELD now and we're living together…for the first time in years I'm happy Peggy."

"Are you really?"

Her remark cut me to my deepest core. Was I really that transparent? Why couldn't I be happy with James? For years I'd lived with a dull ache in my heart, only for it burst when I saw him safe and sound. But even I couldn't deny that a solid throb had begun to resurface. Something was missing in me.

Peggy reached for her purse and shifted through the contents to retrieve a shiny object that made my breath catch in my throat. She placed my mother's locket on the table between us.

"You gave this to me when we were in Korea, do you remember?" I nodded my head. "You told me I'd know when the time was right to give it back to you. I think you need to remember what got you through all the wars, the real reason you fought so hard."

I slowly reached out and grasped the locket, holding it tightly in my grasp before I gently flicked it open. I exhaled a long breath. I'd removed the photo of my parents at the end of World War Two and replaced it with Steve's photo instead. Tears began forming at the corners of my eyes, my gaze blurring as I studied the black and white photograph.

"With James being found the way he was, haven't you considered that maybe Steve is still out there somewhere."

"It crossed my mind." I admitted quietly.

I snapped the locket abruptly closed as I heard James walking back towards us.

"Are you ladies hungry?"

"No." I murmured.

"I think I'll head back to my hotel, it's been a long day." Peggy slid out of the booth and I did too, reaching for her arm. She raised a hand to my face and smiled kindly. "I have faith."

"You still think there's a chance?"

"Of course." She kissed my cheek and I released her arm letting her walk away, the cool metal of the locket stinging my palm.

-x-

I stood in the middle of my SHIELD quarters, softly breathing in and out as the small apartment had been my home for some time. Most of the furniture belonged to the agency but I'd collected bits and pieces from my travels. They were boxed up and loaded in the SUV waiting downstairs, where I'd be taken to my new house in Malibu. It was Tony's old place, now he'd taken over his father's company he decided to build himself a house and gift me and James the other place. So for the past few weeks while James was overseas on a mission, I'd been redecorating and buying new furniture.

"Am I interrupting?"

I turned round to see Fury entering my quarters and shook my head. "No, I was just thinking about things."

He looked around the bare apartment with his hands clasped behind his back. He'd already tried in vain to change my mind, but no matter how long winded his speeches were, I was happy with my decision.

"Are you sure you want to retire from field duties?"

"Yeah, I've been in the field longer than I care to admit, it's time for me to take a step back." I flashed him a feeble smile. "I've seen my fair share of death Fury, and I've made peace with the fact I will outlive my closest friends. But it doesn't mean I can't spend my time doing something useful,"

"What did you have in mind?"

"I thought maybe I could teach new recruits, I can be based here in L.A and have a regular life I guess."

His lips twitched slightly but he nodded his head. "Any agent would be lucky to learn a few tricks from the infamous Venus Doom."

"I won't be too sad to see that name retired," I chuckled and grabbed my bag and jacket off the kitchen counter. "I'll see you Monday morning."

"Enjoy your weekend off."

"I will." I smiled and headed out of the apartment, finally ready for the next phase of my life.


	13. Operation Frostbite

**A/N - **_Okay, I know there's probably a few of you lurking around, who read but don't review. But come on! I need to know how I'm doing here, good/bad/don't really care. So I had quite the writing session this weekend and I've got as far as chapter 18. So I need to know are you willing to hang in? Do you want a happy ending? Should I write the Loki battle vs New York in? _

**13 ****–**** Operation Frostbite**

(November 2010)

The bright light erupting from the desk lamp exposed the large number of files piling up on my desk, and the faint ticking of the clock on the wall kept pushing me on. I was attempting to pick out ten recruits for my new season of training. Every six months I went through the ordeal of studying files, trying to see pass the skills of SHIELD's up and coming agents to the person within, and take them under my wing.

I'd been based at SHIELD's new base in New York City for the past couple of years. I even had my own small apartment in Brooklyn which had a great view of Tony's newest creation; Stark Tower.

I welcomed the break when someone knocked on the door, reclining in my leather office chair as Fury entered. It was sometimes hard to tell if he'd aged in the ten years we'd worked together, because he still wore the same clothes, same eye patch and serious scowl.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who doesn't sleep around here," I smiled leaning forward, grabbing the bottle of vodka and two glasses from the bottom drawer of my desk. I might not have been able to get drunk, but I still enjoyed the taste of alcohol after a hard days work.

"I wanted to talk to you about something." He took the glass I handed him and dropped into the chair positioned before my desk. He looked weary; obviously he had something on his mind.

"Sounds serious,"

"I need your help with a mission," I frowned sipping from my glass. It was highly unusual for Fury to ask for help, especially from me. We might've been friends but he was still the Director of SHIELD. "It's codenamed Operation Frostbite, and highly classified, need to know level nine."

"Lucky for me I have that clearance." I set my glass on the desk watching Fury carefully.

"I've had a team searching for Captain Rogers for the past six months."

"Excuse me?"

He drained his glass and sighed as I stared at him in shock. "I put together a small team, including Agent Coulson who has been going through everything we have on the Captain to see if we might be able to find his whereabouts."

"He crashed into the ocean –"

"No, he crashed into ice." I swallowed hard. "After recovering Agent Barnes, it got me thinking about the Captain. We've been trying to figure out for the past ten years how he survived in the ice and we thought if he could, why couldn't the Captain."

"Have you talked to Agent Barnes about this?" I poured myself another drink, raising the glass to my lips to scull the liquor in a couple of mouthfuls. I wanted to be numb.

"No, it's above his clearance and he's been…unpleasant since you two broke up."

"That was two years ago." I muttered.

"Either way, I want you to work with Coulson and go through all the evidence we have. Maybe you can see something –"

"No." I started shaking my head as I rose from my chair, resting my hands against the cool wood of my desk. "I can't Fury; I've got enough on my plate and I can't..."

"Barnes told me what happened between you two." His good brown eye watched me as I unconsciously reached to grasp my locket. "That you admitted to being involved with Steve before the war. That can't have been an easy thing to do."

I sighed sinking back into my chair. "I thought if I was honest maybe I wouldn't feel so guilty, maybe I'd finally be able to let Steve go but…"

I lightly shook my head, dispersing the memories of the screaming matches that resulted after James saw Steve's photo held within my locket. He loathed me for keeping it a secret, and couldn't let it go that I'd been with Steve first. Things just went downhill further from there and he eventually accepted a transfer to one of SHIELD's European bases.

"He did overreact, but I can't begin to imagine what it's like not to be with the person you love."

"You learn to live with it." I remarked quietly.

"I need your help Gin. If anyone can find him, it's you."

"I'm scared shitless Fury. What if we find something? What if he's been out there all this time?"

"The environment is harsh, it's constantly changing and Stark searched for as long as he could. We'll just take it one day at a time."

"All right," I reluctant sighed, not seeing any other way of squirming out of this situation. "I'll help you."

-x-

Phil Coulson came by my office the next morning with a couple of old cardboard boxes. I liked the short blonde man well enough, he was serious and a little too dedicated to SHIELD but he got the job done.

"I see you've been to the archives,"

"Yes. I just have to say Agent Renard; it's a real pleasure to be working with you." He smiled pleasantly.

"Same here Agent Coulson."

I tipped the lid of the first box and reached in for the first thing my fingers could grasp. I discovered it to be a poster of Captain America's European tours in the 1940's, Steve saluted the camera with a charming smile and my heart jolted.

I gently placed it aside and grabbed a handful of files; the first one contained even more photos. Some of the corners were bent or creased, others faded and discoloured with time but I eventually came across another photo of Steve, except this was of him in military uniform. I'd almost forgotten how handsome he looked in uniform.

"Director Fury mentioned you knew Captain Rogers."

My eyelashes fluttered as I glanced up at Coulson. "I did."

"What was he like?"

I hesitated, knowing the moment I started talking about Steve my hope in finding him would soar. The thought of him being alive tormented me, could he have been frozen like James all this time?

"Ah, he was the best man I've ever met." I stared at the photo as I sat down. "He was kind, brave, and stubborn. He never backed down from anything; he always felt he had something to prove. Everyone respected him because he treated them as his equal, even with the serum in him…he never considered himself better than anyone."

"How did you two even meet? I heard you were captured by the German's,"

"I was, but I met Steve when he was selling war bonds in 1942. My friend Bette had tickets to one of the shows, and we got to meet him backstage." My thumb lightly brushed over the photo. "We knew each other four weeks before I shipped out to Europe. And then I didn't see him again until three years later…I was there the day be crashed the plane. I was speaking to him over the radio…"

"You admired him too?"

"No Agent Coulson, I didn't admire him," I murmured looking at him again as I forced a feeble smile. "I loved him."

-x-

(January 2011)

"I thought you were some super-soldier!" Clint Barton laughed as the two of us danced around the boxing ring together. "I'm not impressed Renard!"

The cheeky brunette and fellow SHIELD Agent had been one my former recruits, and every time he was stateside we'd test our skills against each other.

"I don't want to embarrass your ego." I smiled sweetly, dodging a sharp right jab he sent my way, spinning gracefully on the balls of my feet and placed a fierce punch against his ribs.

"Lucky shot," he hissed narrowing his blue eyes at me.

"You keep telling yourself that Barton."

We exchanged a couple of blows, effortlessly keeping up with each other until the harsh buzz of my vibrating cell phone stole our attention. I smacked Barton across the face and ducked under his muscular arm, crossing the boxing ring to where my sports bag sat. I shifted through the contents until I grasped the phone and inwardly groaned at the name flashing upon the screen, my thumb slid across the illuminated screen as my feet were kicked out beneath me and I landed flat on my back.

"Ouch! You bastard!" I grumbled as Barton grinned arrogantly, climbing on top of me to straddle my hips as I raised the phone to my ear. "What do you want Coulson?"

"_The Director needs to see you Agent Renard,__"_

"I'm a little busy at the moment,"

I wriggled beneath Barton as his fingertips dawdled along the exposed flesh of my stomach, inching further beneath my tank top. I shook my head at him but his thin lips curved into a smirk as he hovered over me.

"_We heard from your contact on the shipping vessel in the Atlantic,__"_ I grabbed Barton by the throat, stopping his seductive advances instantly. The boy never learnt to take no for an answer. _"__He thinks he__'__s found something ten miles west of Captain Roger__'__s last transmission.__"_

"Are you sure?"

For the past couple of months Coulson and I had been examining decades of research and other data, but we'd all given up hope in finding Steve's whereabouts.

"_I'll forward you the photo he sent,__"_

There was a beep and I pulled the phone from my ear, ignoring Barton's gasping breaths and his racing pulse beating against my fingertips to stare at the photo that appeared to be the wing of a very large aircraft.

"I'm on my way." I stated and smiled at Barton as I released him.

He braced a hand beside my head and against the floor of the ring catching his breath back. "Let's call this a tie," he puffed.

"What? No way, I won."

"You cheated. So I'm thinking you owe me," he stated wriggling his eyebrows suggestively and I lightly slapped his face again.

"I'm old enough to be your great grandmother,"

"I don't mind a girl with a few years on her," his gaze obviously lingered on my parted lips, attempting to cover the distance remaining between us. "I might be able to show you a few new tricks –"

My knee connected with his groin and I shoved him off me with a chuckle as he groaned. "You should learn to respect the classics Barton."

I jumped to my feet and climbed between the ropes, hopping to the ground as I grabbed a small towel from my bag, wrapping it round my neck as I snatched up my belongings and jogged out of the gym.


	14. Discoveries and Regrets

**14 ****–**** Discoveries and Regrets.**

I marched into my office, discovering Fury standing quietly. He studied the whiteboard I'd set up in the corner, where my theories were scribbled around photos of Johann Schmidt's aircraft and maps of the Atlantic ocean. My heart raced, not from my sparring match with Barton but because maybe we'd finally found Steve.

I dropped my sports bag beside my desk. "Is it true Fury? Have they found something?"

He glanced over his shoulder at me. His lips curved, but the smile didn't reflect in his good brown eye. "Yes, it's true. Your contact's fishing vessel found the remains of an aircraft this morning. The Directors have asked we send a crew out there to inspect the sight."

I inhaled a deep breath and slowly released as my knees wobbled beneath me. I'd dreamt of this moment and now it was here I wanted to run and hide. "When do I leave?"

"There's a chopper waiting on the roof." He faced me as I braced my hands against my desk, trying to keep my breathing under control. "He might not be there,"

"I know, but still…finding the aircraft is a big deal."

"You don't have to go."

I frowned at him. "You brought me in on this, I can't turn back now no matter what I think and feel."

"You've got ten minutes, Agent Coulson will accompany you. And don't forget your snow gear." He nodded to the black bag on my desk and walked out of the office with his leather jacket flapping lightly behind him.

I pulled my hair loose from the ponytail and combed my hands through the tangles. I unzipped the bag, pulling out the white snow gear and began dressing. My mind was racing, what if Steve was there? Would he be frozen as he was? Would he be dead or alive? More importantly would he have his memory?

"Stop it Gin, you'll drive yourself crazy." I muttered pulling a white beanie upon my head.

I headed out of the office zipping up my jacket and took the nearest elevator to the rooftop. I stepped out, only to turn my face away as the helicopter propellers kicked up a harsh gust of wind, I carefully walked towards the aircraft and climbed aboard. I secured a headset over my ears, gazing over the city skyline as the winter evening quickly emerged.

"Where's Coulson?"

The pilot glanced over his shoulder me. "Oh his way ma'am."

I looked out the window again and watched as Coulson appeared, jogging towards the aircraft and hopped into the front. He had a wide grin plastered upon his face and gave me the thumbs up. I lightly shook my head, as he signalled for the pilot to lift off.

-x-

The compact snowflakes crunched beneath my boots. I followed the glowing path to where a team had spent the day excavating out the area surrounding the large aircraft Steve had crashed decades before. I rubbed my gloved hands together; glancing at Coulson who wore a delighted smile. He was like a kid in a candy store.

"Isn't it a wonderful sight?"

"Depends on what else we find Coulson."

We made our way to the makeshift tents already set up, pulling off our goggles as we entered the white open space. There were small teams of men and women dressed in white snow gear, studying computer screens and fragments brought out from the belly of the aircraft.

"Agent Renard?"

I saw Marion waving nearby, a SHIELD researcher who'd been assisting the search into Steve's whereabouts. I stomped over as she grinned at me.

"I heard your radio transmission, you've found something?"

"Only what you've been looking for," the thin lines around her brown eyes crinkled as she smiled, leading me into the tent next door where a medical team had set up their equipment.

My hazel eyes focused on the table in the middle of the tent, ignoring the three people surrounding the man I'd been yearning to see again for almost seventy years.

"Are you sure it's him?" I whispered and glanced at Marion as she nodded.

"Yes. He's been perfectly preserved, and as far as we know he's a picture of health thanks to Dr. Erskine's serum." She nudged my side. "Go and have a look."

I stood rooted to the spot for a long moment, but then I extended a boot and slowly walked towards the table. The three members of staff stepped back as I pulled off my gloves, stuffing them in my pocket as I came up beside the table. I closed my eyes briefly, reminding myself to breath before I opened my eyes as stared down at the super-soldier still dressed in his stars and stripes uniform, even his golden hair was neatly combed off his handsome face. He was exactly how I remembered him in my dreams.

I listened to the heart monitor beep behind me, a slow but steady beat and unwitting reached out, pressing two fingers to his throat feeling his pulse jump against my fingertips. I couldn't help myself, my fingers lifted from his throat, tracing his broad jaw causing the icicles to melt the longer my warm flesh kept in contact with his blue tinted skin.

"I'm so sorry. I should've told you that day in the forest that I loved you…I've always loved you." I whispered running my thumb over his lush lips, pausing when they parted slightly beneath my touch. His eyelids moved, and his eyelashes fluttered causing me lean forward. "Steve?"

"Agent Renard?"

I jumped back glancing at the doorway where Coulson stood, watching me with a raised eyebrow. I cleared my throat glancing down at Steve to find him still. "Is the aircraft here?"

"They just landed, is he ready?"

"Yeah, he's all yours Marion."

I allowed the medical team to sweep in and take care of Steve for his long-awaited journey home to New York. Coulson lingered at my side as we quietly watched him be carefully wrapped up, and carried out of the tent.

"I'm riding back with him, and your chopper is waiting to take you back to headquarters."

"I can't believe he's been here all this time." I murmured staring down at my hands where the cool water still stung my fingertips and I quickly pulled on my gloves.

"He'll be taken care of at headquarters; the Director's already set up a room for him. He doesn't want the Captain to freak out when he wakes up,"

I frowned at him as we tramped back through the tents and out into the bitter cold wind. "He's waking up sixty something years in the future, of course he's going to freak out."

"The Director has appointed an Agent to be the Captain's liaison, they'll help him adjust to life and get him up to speed." Coulson explained as we paused outside the tents, looking over at the small aircraft where Steve's body was being lifted inside. After years of believing he was dead and nothing but a memory, it just felt wrong that some stranger should come in and take over. "Agent Renard? What's wrong?"

"I need to get back to headquarters fast! I need to speak with Fury." I marched towards the aircraft waiting for me and climbed aboard, closing the door. I refused to let Steve slip through my fingers again.

-x-

As soon as the helicopter landed at SHIELD headquarters, I jumped out of the craft and marched with fierce determination to Fury's office. I ignored his protesting second in command; Maria Hill, stalking into his office to discover him sitting behind a large oak desk surveying a video upon a screen held within his hands.

"Can I help you Agent Renard?" He casually lifted his gaze from the screen.

"You've already assigned someone to Captain Rogers?"

"I did the moment the aircraft was located."

"How could you do that to me?"

"He's in good hands, I've arranged for Agent Russell from our L.A branch to fly out tomorrow, she has a History major –"

"I don't care if she's the bloody Queen of England! I'm the only one here that actually knows the man!"

"That's exactly why you weren't asked,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked not bothering to hide my irritation.

"You were romantically involved with Captain Rogers before the war," Fury lowered the screen as my cheeks filled with instant warmth. "And only a couple of years ago you were still involved with his best friend. You're too close to this." He reclined in his leather chair, silently letting his words linger before speaking again. "Agent Russell will be his liaison, and you'll be back in the training room in the morning."

"I want to see him!"

"That's impossible at the moment, he's been placed in the care of our medical team –"

"You came to me Fury!" I snapped and then sighed roughly. "You said you couldn't imagine what it was like to live without the person you loved…well it is the worse type of torture. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think about Steve. I remember every moment we spent together and apart, and there's nothing I regret more than the last day we were together." I tried to ignore the handful of tears that were rolling down my face as I spoke because it just proved Fury's theory right. "He told me he loved me, and I said nothing…I didn't even say it in the moments before he crashed the plane. And I've wished every day since that I had."

Fury didn't say anything for a long moment. "I'll contact you when the medical team gives me the all clear."

I managed to give him a curt nod and turned on my heel, stalking back out of the office. I ignored Maria, marching into the elevator and slammed my hand against the button so the doors closed as I choked on a sob.


	15. Seventy Years In The Making

**A/N -**_ I know y'all have been waiting for this moment and considering it's coming up to Xmas...consider it an early gift!_

_And if you'd like to read another Gin/Steve outing, click the link on my profile page and check out the new story I've co-written with my friend Therese._

**15 ****–**** Seventy Years In The Making.**

The cool black satin robe swayed around my ankles as I waltzed out of the bathroom, combing the pieces of long brown hair into a bun on the top of my head. The warm morning sun began to creep up, basking the city skyline in orange hues and warmed the lush carpet as my damp feet abruptly paused. My nose wriggled as the scent of toast wafted in from the main living area and I quietly raced back to the large bed, sliding a hand beneath the pillow to grasp my weapon.

I moved towards the open doorframe and gently raised my gun, my index finger hugging the trigger when I discovered a man, clothed in jeans and long sleeve T-shirt in my kitchen. I groaned and lowered the gun as he turned round and smiled.

"Tony! What the hell?"

"I've been here an hour and you only just noticed? You're getting rusty godmother."

"Kid, I should put a bullet in you on principal alone." I retorted walking across the room to enter the kitchen and hug him. "What are you doing here?"

"Fury called me," I pulled away and helped myself to a freshly brewed cup of coffee. "He said you haven't been into work the past week. He also said you found the Captain, and that you started crying like a baby."

I rolled my eyes at him. "I wish I could smack the smartass out of you kid."

"Many have tried and failed. So, are you okay?"

I shrugged my shoulders grasping the coffee cup tightly in my hands as I perched myself on a stool beside the counter. "I don't know. I feel and think a million things, but it doesn't mean a damn thing because the moment I saw Steve…I felt whole again." I lightly shook my head. "He might not even wake up and even if he does, there's no saying he remember anything."

"I would've thought you'd be at his bedside,"

"I want to be. If he wakes up, he should see a familiar face, not the inside of SHIELD medical room. But Fury already thinks I'm too close to the situation, he's brought in some female agent with a history degree or something." I remarked bitterly.

"Jealously doesn't suit you Gin,"

I glanced at Tony feeling my lips twitch in a faint smile. "You didn't see the way the girls use to fall over themselves to get close to Steve." I finished the coffee and reached over to place it in the sink. "I wish your dad was here, he and Steve were good friends."

"I know he never shut up about the man." Tony shook his head. "Why don't you come out with me and Pepper for dinner?"

"No, I should go to headquarters. I have to face it at some point." I slid off the stool and walked round to hug my godson again, I kissed his cheek and headed into the bedroom to dress.

-x-

I'd just stepped out of the cab, slamming the door behind me and motioned to enter the warmth of headquarters when a handful of agents rushed out, jumping into awaiting black unmarked vehicles. I shrugged slowly walking into the building to hear the report over the intercom.

"_I repeat, all agents code 13!"_

"Shit." I jogged back outside and hopped into the nearest car, glancing at the young driver as he frowned at me. "You heard the order, go!" The tires squealed against the road and we sped off into the traffic. "What's our ETA?"

"Two minutes Agent Renard, they have Captain Rogers surrounded on Broadway." He replied pressing a finger against his ear piece.

"Good."

The young agent slammed on the brakes as we pulled up behind the convoy of SHIELD vehicles and I climbed out, moving through the surrounding crowd of tourists and locals. I heard Fury's voice in the distance and made my way towards the containment area.

"Look, I'm sorry about that little show back there, but we thought it best to break it to you slowly."

"Break what?"

My heart literally stopped beating for a second as I heard Steve's voice. I snatched my SHIELD badge from my blazer pocket, flashing it at one of the agents keeping the crowd at bay. He allowed me through, revealing Fury.

"You've been asleep Cap, for almost seventy years. You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I just…I had a date." Steve replied slowly.

I came up behind Fury, he must've heard my high heels tapping against the pavement because he glimpsed over his shoulder at me, but didn't say anything. I paused beside him, looking ahead to see Steve, staring bewildered at his surroundings, dressed in plain tan pants and white SSR T-shirt. He turned back to Fury, his blue eyes widening at me and the smooth skin between his eyes pinching together as he frowned.

"Genevieve?"

I stepped forward but Fury clutched my wrist, stopping me from creating the happy ending playing out in my head where Steve and I would run into each other's arms, hugging, kissing, and confessing our love for each other.

"All will be explained Cap," Fury stated, his fingers squeezing the delicate flesh of my wrist to keep me at his side but my eyes never left Steve's.

A couple of agents took Steve by the arm leading him towards a vehicle while Fury dragged me towards his SUV. He pushed me into the backseat, sliding in beside me as I released a shaky breath.

"You need to give him some space –"

"He saw me Fury!" I snapped abruptly. "He's not just gonna let it go! I should be the one to explain what's happening –"

"Like you did with Agent Barnes?" He asked scornfully. "Agent Russell will be meeting with Captain Rogers this afternoon and she will answer his questions."

I glanced at my old friend. "Why are you keeping us apart?"

"Because the two of you are more important to SHIELD than you realize, and I won't let your feelings jeopardise that." He replied stiffly and I bit my bottom lip not knowing what else to say.


	16. Against All Odds

**A/N - **_I hope it was worth the wait! There will be heaps of Steve from now on in._

**16 ****–**** Against All Odds.**

I spent that afternoon watching Steve through a two-way mirror, while Agent Russell answered his questions and explained his situation to him as delicately as she could. The petite blonde sat perfectly posed upon the stiff wooden chair, all her files and photos were laid out in an overly neat manner upon the wooden table between her and Steve. I didn't care for the way she spoke to him like a child, he might've been frozen for years but he wasn't an idiot.

All things considering Steve took all the information in his stride. At one point he started pacing around the room, silently processing everything he was being told. He paused before the two-way mirror and I couldn't control myself, I pressed my fingers against the glass. My lashes fluttered, sweeping away the tears instantly forming and my lips parted but no words came out.

Every time he asked about me, my heart pounded so roughly against my chest I was sure it would burst out. Agent Russell was reluctant to answer those questions, but gave him a brief rundown about the years I'd spent with SHIELD and the serum slowing the aging process. And then he said something that took my breath away.

"I want to see her,"

"Who?"

"Gin. I need to see her –"

"I'm afraid that's impossible. I have orders that the two of you are to be kept separated."

"Bitch." I muttered.

"No offence ma'am, but you don't know me," Steve stood behind his chair, gripping the back of it so tightly the frame started to warp. "Gin and I fought together during the war, if anyone should be talking to me now…it should be her."

Agent Russell stiffened in her seat. I decided I'd had enough of the spook need to know shit and stormed out of the dim lit room, ignoring the protests of the agents standing guard outside the interrogation room as I shoved the door opened. Steve slowly stood up straighter and Agent Russell jumped out of her seat.

"Agent Renard –"

"Get out."

"I'm conducting this interview –"

I entered the room, narrowing my hazel eyes at her. "Get out Russell before I throw you out."

"Director Fury will hear about this!" She snapped as she stalked pass me, leaving the room and I slammed the door close behind her.

"We don't have long; Fury's made it clear we're not to be in the same room together."

"Why?"

"I honestly don't know." I forced a feeble smile. "How do you feel?"

"Okay. You haven't changed,"

"Neither have you. We look good considering we're in our nineties."

He released his grip of the chair, unable to take his eyes off me as he covered the distance between us and took me into his arms. I hugged him tightly against me, burying my face in his neck to inhale his familiar scent.

"Y'know, I heard you,"

"Heard what?" I frowned, leaning back slightly to stare up at him.

"When I was, ah…frozen I guess. I heard your voice. I don't remember what you were saying exactly, but I knew it was you." His lush lips curved into that disarming smile that had stolen my heart the first night we met. "It must've been a dream,"

"No, I was there when you were found. I told you I was sorry…" He raised a hand to my face, his thumb lightly gracing my cheek as the first few tears fell. "I should've told you that day, before we went into Schmidt's base that I loved you. But my head was so messed up…I've regretted it ever since. I'm so sorry Steve."

I bowed my head, resting my hands upon his chest and lightly clutched his T-shirt, weeping quietly. His callused fingers gently slid along my jaw and rested beneath my chin, lifting it so my damp eyes were forced to meet his.

"Third times meant to be a charm." He murmured lowering his fingers so they brushed over my locket. "You still wear it?"

"I didn't for a long time," I reached up and gently flicked it open revealing his photo and making his lips curve into a smile. "I love you Steve, I always have." I whispered leaning close to press my lips against the corner of his mouth.

He raised his hands to my face again, shifting his lips so we could kiss properly just as the door flew open, banging against the wall and making us part.

"Renard!" Fury barked. "I warned you."

Steve released me from his grasp and carefully moved to stand in-between me and Fury. The two men stared at each other for a long moment, and I peered around Steve's muscular arms to see Agent Russell glaring at us from behind Fury. The bitch was on my hit list now.

"Agent Renard, as of now you are suspended –"

"Suspended!" I stepped around Steve. "This is bullshit Fury! What is your bloody issue?"

"I don't want a repeat of what happened between you and Agent Barnes."

"Bucky?"

I instantly backed off even though my jaw clenched in frustration.

"Agent Barnes and Renard were involved for eight years Captain Rogers," Agent Russell basked in the revelation but Fury appeared reluctant to join her. "She slept with him the first chance she got!"

"Gin? Is that true?"

"Steve –" I started only to be cut off by Fury's sharp tone.

"Agent Renard please return to your apartment and await further instructions."

I realized it was pointless to argue my case and made my way towards the door where I saw Agent Russell's smug face. I made a hard fist with my hand and punched her in the nose, my lips curving as I heard the crack of the breaking bone. Her petite form went stumbling back into the agents standing guard, her fingers vainly trying to plug the blood gushing from her nose.

"Next time you get in my way Russell, I'll just put a bullet in you instead." I warned and walked off along the corridor.


	17. Twenty-four Hours

**A/N - **_So I've been sick the past week and haven't done any writing so this will be my last update for the holiday season. A little romance was in order so enjoy and Merry Christmas!_

**17 ****–**** Twenty-four Hours.**

I laid comfortably within the old foot claw bathtub, I had a Bing Crosby vinyl record playing in the bedroom and steaming hot water surrounding me. The scented candles positioned on the windowsill were lit, flickering away as I slid further beneath the bubbles.

I tried not to think about my suspension, or Fury's determination to keep me and Steve apart. I didn't understand any of it, and I didn't like it one bit. On the plus side, I got to smack Agent Russell.

"I've seen that smile before," my eyes snapped opened swiftly focusing on Steve standing in the doorway leading in from the bedroom. "You wore it the night we met; you weren't exactly nice to me."

"Steve! What are you doing here?"

"Your Director Fury gave me twenty-four hours of freedom." I slowly sat up, drawing my knees against my chest as he leaned casually against the doorframe. "He told me about Bucky,"

"Told you what exactly?"

"Gin, I'm not mad…" he paused as his forehead furrowed, lightly shook his head and then sighed. "Well maybe a little but if you've been around all this time, I don't blame you for moving on. You should've got married and had a family –"

"I didn't. I never married and I can't have my own children. I had my job…I had SHIELD."

"That's a lonely way to live."

I nodded staring ahead at the wall painted a light yellow. "Do you remember everything?"

"Pretty much. Did you love him…Bucky?"

"Yes, I did." I glanced over at Steve. "I knew I loved him that day we went into Schmidt's base, but when I saw you on the HYDRA train, I was so happy to see you. And I felt guilty as hell…still do."

"Why don't you dress and we'll catch up."

He gave me a small smile and closed the door as he left. I slowly rose out of the bathwater and reached for a towel, drying myself off before pulling on my robe but kept my hair in the loose bun. I blew out the candles and drained the bath before heading out into the living room where Steve sat on the couch, peering around my apartment.

I knelt on the couch beside him. "So? Where do we start?"

"Why don't you tell me what happened after the radio cut out."

I nodded and released a long breath. It was going to be a long trip down memory lane.

-x-

Steve and I sat up all night and into the early hours of the new day talking. I mostly talked, telling him about my life through the decades, even bringing out photo albums I'd put together over the years. He was patient, and more forgiving than I deserved, especially when we got to the photos of me and James. He found the last album more interesting than most, there were photos mostly of me, Tony and his girlfriend Pepper during the construction of Stark Tower.

"It must be weird for him to age and not you."

"Nothing really fazes Tony; he takes it all in his stride with a glass of liquor and a sarcastic comment at the ready."

"You care about him don't you?"

"I love the kid more than anything."

Steve closed the album, leaning forward to set it on the coffee table with the others. "You would've made a great mother," I felt myself blush for the first time in years. "Can I ask you something?"

"Depends on the question,"

"Why didn't you and Bucky ever get married?"

"Oh," I reached for my coffee cup, grasping it with both hands as I tried to find the simple answer. But there wasn't one. "I guess we both avoided the topic."

"But you were together a long time,"

"Yeah, but most of that we spent apart. I retired from field duty after Howard and Maria died, and James' career with SHEILD was just starting, so he was always away on missions or training. I don't know how it happened but one day I realized I didn't love him anymore because I was still holding onto you. I told him about us before the war, and he lost it. I'd never seen him that angry before…we tried to make it work afterwards, but it was over." I finished my coffee. "The next day he moved out and asked for a transfer to a base in Europe. A couple of weeks later, Tony said he was coming here and I came with him."

"So you two haven't talked since?"

I shook my head. "He was pretty furious with me."

I rose from the couch taking our empty cups to the kitchen, placing them in the dishwasher as Steve walked over to the window to stare out at the city he'd once known.

"What's it like here?"

"Busy," I replied. "Things move quickly, people are rude, the rich get richer and poor get poorer. The way we grew up doesn't exist anymore, and babies can work computers these days."

"Computers? What are they?" He frowned at me and I chuckled.

"You'll find out, I'm sure Fury has plans to catch you up on the past seventy years."

"It's too big." He murmured as I walked over to stand beside him, seeing Stark Tower beginning to glow in the rare winter sunlight trying to force its way through the clouds. "I've missed too much."

I reached for his hand, my fingers sliding into his palm and lacing through his fingers as our eyes met. "But you're not in this alone Steve. Something or someone always tries to come between us but eventually we seem to find each other again. That's gotta mean something,"

"It means everything." He gently squeezed my hand, staring out the window. "What's that big ugly building?"

I chuckled leaning against his strong arm. "That's Tony's pride and joy, Stark Tower."

"I don't think I'll ever get use to this time." He muttered as I yawned. "You should get some sleep,"

"No," I held up our hands to check his watch. "We've got eight hours until you have to return to headquarters. I don't want to waste a minute of it."

"All right, what should we do?"

A series of intimate fantasies filled my head and I chewed on my bottom lip, managing a shrug so I didn't throw myself at him.

"We could be tourists for the day, check out all the sights…we could even have dinner with Tony." I suggested as Steve lightly shook his head, breaking our hands so he could grab my hips making me face him.

"I don't want to share you."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you making a move Captain?" He blushed nodding his head. "Are you sure? You've been through a lot in the past couple of days –"

Steve pressed his lips against mine, gently curling his arms round my waist and pulling me tightly against him. The whole world seemingly melted away as I felt myself falling within his embrace, but it wasn't a scary falling, just the exact opposite. It was like I was home.

We parted for a breath and my hands started pushing off his leather jacket, the material dropping to the floor. I stared up into his blue eyes as my fingers moved towards his shirt buttons, gently popping one open, he didn't say anything and I undid the rest of them, sweetly kissing the skin as it was exposed to me. I slid the material over his shoulders and down his arms as my lips lightly pressed against his neck making him shiver. He kicked off his shoes as I moved away, walking backwards towards the bedroom, a faint smirk tugging at my lips as I undid my hair letting the brown waves fall around my face and over my shoulders.

Steve's gaze followed my hands as they found my robe tie, slowly undoing it as his lush lips released a shaky breath. I paused in the doorway as he marched over and scooped me up into his arms, carrying me over to the bed.


	18. History Lessons

**18 ****–**** History Lessons.**

"…we could run away."

Steve swallowed his mouthful of stir-fry noodles and vegetables, frowning as I sat with my back against the arm of the couch, my bare feet resting on his lap as I nursed a takeaway box of fried rice.

After spending the morning in my bedroom, we'd ventured out for lunch, and were now deciding how we could make things work between us.

"Where would we go?"

"Anywhere we want, I still have my contacts…we could disappear."

"I don't think your director would just let us disappear," we swapped boxes. "Why don't we just tell him we're together?"

"He doesn't want us together, some bullshit about us being important to SHIELD." I sighed. "I've been with them since 1945; I think I deserve the right to live my life my way."

"We could get married."

I raised my eyebrows at him noticing the blush that crept upon his cheeks. He gently lowered my feet, shifting forward to set the box on the coffee table before reaching for his leather jacket, digging a hand into a pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box.

"Agent Russell gave me a box of my personal effects yesterday, things I left behind at the base in London. This was in there," my gaze shifted between the box and Steve's face. "I brought it the week before I arrived in Hawaii, but it didn't feel right to ask you when you were shipping out."

I carefully set my own takeaway box down and scooted closer to Steve, ignoring the way my heart pounded when he snapped the lid open and revealed the small star shaped diamond set in a simple gold band.

"It's not much –"

"It's beautiful." I whispered catching his gaze. "I can't believe you carried it around all those years,"

"I loved you." He replied simply.

"I still love you." I smiled raising my left hand to him.

He plucked the ring out of the box but hesitated. "Will you marry me Genevieve Renard?"

"Yes," I nodded unable to control my grin. "I'll marry you,"

He gently slid the ring onto my finger and I admired it for a moment before throwing my arms round him, embracing him tightly and kissing every inch of his face.

"I love you so much." I murmured brushing my nose against his.

An abrupt bang against the front door ruined the perfect moment. Steve glanced at his watch as I pulled away.

"They're precise."

We rose from the couch; he grabbed his jacket tugging it on as I went to answer the door, suppressing a sigh as Fury walked in. He glanced between the two of us.

"I trust the two of you sorted out everything?"

"We did," Steve replied walking over, flashing me a feeble smile as I chewed on my bottom lip.

"Good, you've got some catching up to do Captain." Fury turned to me. "Don't you have some recruits to train Agent Renard?"

"That depends on how you feel about this," I raised my hand for him to see the ring.

"I sometimes think you like pushing me Renard,"

"Sometimes I do Fury, but this isn't one of them."

"We're going to be together, whether you like it or not." Steve added.

"So be it." Fury sighed. "I don't have the patience to fight both of you."

I smiled and hugged Steve again. Finally, something was working out for us.

-x-

(February 2011)

After a long day of training my ten chosen recruits, I showered and freshened myself up before heading to the conference room Agent Russell had claimed for her lectures with Steve. The swelling of her nose had gone down but she still sported two shiny black eyes, which brought a smile to my face every afternoon when I'd meet Steve.

This day was much like every other that had passed during the month after Steve's proposal. He would emerge from the room looking drained and bored, but his blue eyes would light up when I approached. I made a point to smile widely at Agent Russell before slipping my hand into Steve's, sweetly kissing his cheek to rub our relationship in her face just a faction more. We'd then leave SHIELD headquarters, have dinner somewhere quiet and talk about our day before heading to my apartment, which we now shared. Life was good. The dull ache that had been a constant thing within my heart had seemingly faded away.

I walked out of the bathroom one night after brushing my teeth, my bare feet padding lightly over the carpet as I made my way to bed and climbed beneath the covers, sitting up beside Steve who was reading a book.

"Another new book?"

"Yeah, they're more interesting than Agent Russell's lectures,"

"That's because she doesn't know what she's talking about. What's that one about?"

"The War,"

I pulled my hair from its ponytail frowning at him. "Honey, you need to be more specific, there's been a few Wars over the years."

"World War Two."

I leaned over peering at the page full of glossy photos of the darkest moments of the War – horrible days when the Nazis were seemingly unstoppable. "Are you still having flashbacks?"

"Yeah,"

I pressed my lips lightly against his bare shoulder and his gaze shifted to my face. "I hope they aren't all bad memories,"

"No, there are some good ones." He smiled as I raised a hand so my fingers could stroke the back of his neck. "Agent Russell wants me to keep a diary about them, but they seem too personal to share,"

"So don't share them. It's okay to keep some things to yourself and like I said, she doesn't know what she's talking about, she was born in 1982 for Christ's sake." The corners of his lips curved as I ranted. "Pick a year and I'll tell you what really happened,"

"1942,"

We smiled at each other.

"I met Captain America; oh he was very handsome in that tight fitting uniform." He chuckled, letting me take the book off his hands and toss it at the floor as I climbed over his lap, sitting astride his hips.

"You said you preferred Errol Flynn to me,"

"Bad judgment on my part," I smirked curling my arms round his neck, sweetly kissing his lips. "Has my bedside manner improved?"

"Greatly,"

His large hands gripped my hips pulling me closer so I was pressed against his chest, and traced my jaw with light kisses.

"Oh, I talked to Tony today,"

"And you need to mention that now?" He murmured against my neck, slipping his hands beneath my tank top to run his fingers across my lower back.

"He said we're more than welcome to have the wedding and reception at Stark Tower if we wanted, and he's agreed to give me away."

Steve leaned back flashing me a puzzled look. "I thought we were gonna have a church wedding?"

"I'm looking at all our options honey." His grip of my hips relaxed and I raised an eyebrow at him, sensing that wasn't what he wanted to hear. "What is it?"

"I always had this picture in my head that when I got married it would be in a church, you'd be wearing a white dress and Bucky would be my best man…" he sighed and I gently combed the fallen blonde hairs back off his forehead.

"Nothing's turned out the way we thought it would honey,"

"I talked to Bucky today."

My hand dropped like a dead weight. "Y-you did?"

"He won't come to the wedding,"

"I'm sorry –"

"I don't blame you Gin, or him." I climbed off his lap, kneeling beside him as he lightly shook his head. "He said I should go to Europe, it'll be just like old times he said, but it won't be, we're not the same people."

He sighed again, reaching over to flick off his lamp and settled comfortably beneath the sheets. I wanted to console him, but nothing I said would make a difference. He could deny it all he wanted but it was my fault. I was the reason he'd lost his best friend.


	19. Vacation Plans Interrupted

**19 – Vacation Plans Interrupted.**

A gentle breeze swept through Central Park, the slight bitter chill snapping at the heels of those brave enough to venture outside and enjoy the remaining days of winter. The breeze caught the ends of my hair not tucked beneath a woolen hat, and made my nose wriggle as the chill settled upon it. But it wasn't enough to stop me from spending my lunch hour outside headquarters.

I turned the well-read page of my Jane Austin novel and pulled another barbeque flavored Pringle from its tube, happily munching on it.

"Can I sit here?"

"It's a free country," I didn't bother looking up as the deep voice spoke to me, my lips curving at the banter between Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett.

"So they keep telling me, but they didn't mention what it cost us."

I recognized the depressed tone and looked up from the tiny black text, glancing sideways at Steve sitting beside me. He stared out over the snow covered grounds with a pained expression while dressed in his usual simple forties inspired fashion.

This was the longest conversation we'd had since he'd mentioned speaking to James. It was easy to avoid each other at headquarters but in the small confines of our apartment, the space and silence made me claustrophobic.

"What War are you up too?"

"Vietnam,"

"Those were some turbulent years," I closed my novel slipping it into my shoulder bag. I reached for the Pringles and extended them to Steve who took a couple. "SHIELD weren't directly involved but there was a small group of us running intelligence ops with the CIA."

"You've lived an exciting life,"

"No, I've lived a long, dirty, bloody life." I sighed glancing down at my engagement ring. "I only did it because I thought fighting was all I was good for. And in the beginning I believed that my involvement saved other innocent lives, they wouldn't have to see and go through what I did."

"What are you talking about Gin?" He reached out, covering my hand with his warmth and giving me the courage to look at him.

"Sometimes I regret joining the Nurses Corps. If I hadn't listened to Bette's big idea about saving soldiers…I wouldn't be here now, I'd probably be dead and buried."

Steve gave my hand a small squeeze, his blue eyes boring into my hazel ones. "But if you hadn't joined, we never would've met that night –"

"I should've told James about you. I should've made it clear –"

He released my hand and wrapped his arm round my shoulders, easily sliding me over the bench and against his side. "You've gotta stop blaming yourself Gin, if anyone should've talked to him, it should've been me. For months after you went missing, all Bucky could talk about was you and even when he stopped talking I knew he still thought about you. Just like I did."

I rested my forehead against his, raising my hand to his face.

"I wasn't angry with you…I'm just frustrated about everything. Fury and Russell want to push me back into this world, but it just seems too much, too soon."

"That's just the way Fury works, he's always preparing for the next battle."

Steve sighed. "Maybe we should run away like you said,"

"Somewhere warm…"

"Quiet," he brushed his lips against mine.

"The Cook Islands are meant to be nice this time of year," I murmured. "White sandy beaches, clear blue oceans and tropical drinks with the little umbrellas,"

"Sounds a nice place for a wedding,"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I thought you wanted a church wedding?"

"It doesn't matter where we have it, as long as we're together."

"It sounds perfect to me." I kissed him. "I'll book the tickets tonight after work."

"Good, c'mon we better get back to headquarters before they send a search party,"

"And that would never do." I chuckled as we rose from the bench. I grabbed my shoulder bag, sliding my hand into Steve's as we followed the footpath out of the park.

-x-

While Steve was at a boxing gym a few blocks away, I sat at home, in front of my laptop making arrangements for our trip to the Cook Islands. I'd finally settled on a flight when there was an abrupt knock upon the door.

I rose from the couch, setting the laptop on the coffee table as I went to answer the door, holding back a groan as Agent Coulson stood in the corridor.

"Agent Renard, we need to talk,"

"Sounds like you're about to ruin my perfectly pleasant mood." I replied waving him inside and closed the door behind him. "Can't this wait until tomorrow? I'm kinda in the middle of something,"

"I'm afraid not, we have a situation."

I raised an eyebrow at his serious expression, but considering he always looked like that I didn't quite believe him. He handed me a folder, watching as I flicked it open to reveal a page of information about the Tesseract Cube Howard had discovered while searching for Steve.

"Are you familiar with the Tesseract?"

"I've heard enough about it to know it's dangerous,"

"Well it was stolen from one of our secure bases two nights ago," I glanced up from the folder. "Many agents were killed, a scientist and an agent were taken hostage –"

"Who's the agent?"

"Clint Barton,"

My stomach twisted as I closed the folder handing it back to Coulson. "Has he been compromised?"

"We're unsure of his status at the moment. But Director Fury wants you and Captain Rogers at home base tomorrow. There'll be a Quinjet waiting for you."

I walked over to the couch, closing my laptop and the idea of a peaceful vacation. "Who else has been called up?"

"Everyone."

"Shit."

"That sums up the situation perfectly." Coulson replied. "I'll see you at headquarters at 0700." He gave me a curt nod and left the apartment.

-x-

Steve and I sat together, staring at the screen he held while watching video footage of the Hulk in action. He'd been visited by Fury at the gym and after reading through the debriefing packet, we'd both agreed to help out where we could.

Agent Coulson left his post on the opposite side of the Quinjet, coming to stand beside us as I cradled my stomach.

"Are you okay Agent Renard?"

"Yeah, I've just had a bout of the flu the last couple of weeks. I probably shouldn't have spent all my lunch hours at the park."

"You passed your physical last week though?"

"With flying colours." I smiled as Steve spoke up.

"So this Doctor Banner was trying to replicate the serum they used on me and Gin?"

"A lot of people were." Coulson stated gripping the safety rail above his head. "You were the world's first superhero. Banner thought gamma radiation might hold the key to unlocking Erskine's original formula."

"Didn't really go his way, did it?" Steve raised his eyebrows at me as I lightly shook my head.

"Trying to recreate Erskine's formula would always be risky; Johann Schmidt was a prime example of that. Arnim Zola's the only one that came close and even now we're not sure how he exactly did it,"

"You were lucky to survive it," Steve murmured setting the screen to one side.

"Doctor Banner is a good man; I spent some time with him when he first started conducting his research. I let him take blood samples and such. He was in it for the science, but the military had other ideas…he was able to destroy my samples before they got their hands on it."

"And when he's not that thing, the guys like a Stephen Hawkings." I chuckled as Steve looked up at Coulson with a puzzled expression. "He's like a smart person,"

"Oh,"

"I gotta say, it's an honour to meet you officially. I've sort of met you. I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping,"

Steve glanced sideways at me, but I chewed on my bottom lip to suppress a laugh. I hadn't exactly mentioned to him about Coulson being his biggest fan.

"I mean, I was present while you were unconscious from the ice…I assisted Agent Renard in finding you, she actually told me some stories about you from the war."

"Did she now?"

"He was interested." I shrugged.

Steve rose and walked over to stand behind the pilots, Coulson flashing him a pleasant smile while I rummaged through my shoulder bag and pulled out a bottle of water.

"Y'know, it's really just a huge honour to have you on board this."

"I hope I'm the man for the job," Steve remarked more to himself than any one of us. I knew he was nervous about being thrust back into a battle but I didn't doubt he'd take down any enemy that came before him.

"Oh you are. Absolutely. Ah, we made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input."

"The uniform? Aren't the stars and stripes a little old-fashioned?"

"With everything that's happening and the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old-fashioned,"

I swallowed my mouthful of water, rolling my eyes. "I don't personally fancy the thought of a new generation lusting after my fiancé,"

"You know I don't like all that attention Gin,"

"Well you're in for a rude awakening honey. Twenty-first century girls are a hundred times worse than what you're used to."

"Let's deal with one evil force at a time." Coulson chuckled.


	20. Unexpected Expecting

**20 - Unexpected Expecting.**

Coulson, Steve and I walked off the Quinjet and into the excited hive of activity upon SHIELD's Helicarrier. My lips curved into a wide grin as I saw a familiar woman from my past approaching us.

"The infamous Black Widow!" I embraced the Russian red-head warmly as we hadn't seen each other in a couple of years. "How are you Natasha?"

"I'm good Venus, it's been awhile."

I nodded as we parted.

"Captain Rogers, Agent Romanoff," Coulson introduced the two.

"Ma'am,"

She smiled politely, nodding at Coulson. "They need you on the bridge, they're starting the face-trace and Director Fury's asked to see you Venus."

"Oh joy," I stated sarcastically, reaching up to kiss Steve's cheek. "I'll see you later; Natasha will take care of you."

"I'll introduce you to Doctor Banner." Natasha stated leading him away as Coulson and I made our way indoors.

We found Fury standing proudly on the bridge, looking over the organized chaos of agents going about their preflight duties. Coulson walked over to one of the agents studying a facial recognition screen that would search for Barton and Loki. I went over to Fury, standing to attention behind him.

"You wanted to see me Fury?"

"Yes I did Agent Renard, come with me." He left his post, leading me from the bridge and over to a quiet area nearby. His usual stern features appeared more concerned than usual. "The Council has reinstated you as a field agent,"

"Don't look so pleased Fury, you might pull something." my sarcasm as usual didn't amuse him.

"I was against you returning to field duty,"

I frowned at him, folding my arms across my chest. "Why? I regularly pass my physicals and shooting qualifications. All things considering, I'm in good condition,"

"Your condition is what concerns me. You've been out of the field a good ten years, and you haven't been on the medication that you were prescribed during your active years,"

"They were vitamins –"

"They were drugs to lower your Mullerian Hormones. You were the Council's prized pet, one of a kind and they needed you to go in where soldiers couldn't…because of you many lives were saved."

An uneasy feeling began to creep into my stomach, twisting it nervously as I started at Fury. "What are you talking about exactly?"

"They lowered your hormones to decrease your fertility levels. They couldn't risk losing you, so they did everything in their power to make sure you'd remain loyal to them." He released a long sigh. "You're pregnant Gin,"

I nervously laughed and then abruptly stopped when Fury's expression didn't change. "No. That's not possible, my ovaries –"

"They're fine; everything started working normally once you retired from field duty and stopped taking the drugs."

"But…" I lightly shook my head, walking over to the nearest railing to brace my hands against the cool metal. I took a couple of deep breaths but my lungs still struggled to function. "What about James? I was with him eight years and I never –"

"The Russian's made him have a vasectomy when he worked under them." Fury came to stand beside me and placed a hand upon my shoulder, causing my damp hazel eyes to lift to his face. "You really are pregnant. Why don't you go to your quarters and after I've debriefed everyone, I'll send Captain Rogers –"

"No. He can't know, not yet." I swallowed the emotion building up. "You need him to be focused on the mission, not worrying about me." I stood up straighter. "I want another test done; I need to see the result for myself."

"Marion's in the medical bay, she usually does your medical tests…she's the one that told me."

"She should've told me." I muttered sourly, walking away from Fury and stalked through the busy corridors of the carrier to make my way to the medical bay.

The moment I entered the room, my old friend Marion lowered her clipboard and forced a feeble smile.

"I'm sorry Gin; I didn't know what to do."

"You should've told me last week!" I tugged off my leather jacket, tossing it at the nearest bed. "I want another test done."

"Of course, take a seat."

I sighed hopping up on the bed as she gathered her supplies together.

-x-

I'd perched myself on the double bed in my dim lit quarters, my legs crossed under me. One hand held my cell phone, while the other held the small square picture of the baby growing in my womb.

I'd made Marion run a number of tests before the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't handle the idea of SHIELD going to such extreme lengths to use me. I'd been devastated at the thought of never having my own children, and now I was suddenly pregnant.

I ran the back of a hand clumsily over my wet cheeks and then dialed a number, listening to the dial tone play before the soothing English accent came through.

"_Hello?"_

"Peggy?"

"_Yes, who is this?"_

"It's Gin," I cleared my throat and the husky tone.

"_Oh Genevieve, how are you dear?"_

"I'm okay; I just needed to hear your voice." I admitted quietly feeling myself relax with every word she spoke to me. "How are you?"

"_Oh I'm fine. I've moved in with Emily and Tom, it was either that or a nursing home, and I said no bloody way would I be put into a place like that."_

I chuckled. "I couldn't see you in one either, you'd have the place running too efficiently."

"_You don't sound like your usual self Genevieve, are you and Steve still avoiding each other?"_

"No, we've sorted that out. We've both been called up; someone stole that Tesseract Cube Howard found in 45,"

"_Oh dear,"_

"Yeah, I've never seen Fury so worried."

"_Well don't go getting yourself into trouble, I know you fancy yourself a superhero but you're still human,"_

My chin started to tremble. "I won't be really involved in this battle,"

"_Why not?"_

"I'm pregnant," I whispered and heard her gaze.

"_How is that possible? Have you told Steve?"_

"No, I haven't told him yet. Peggy, SHIELD gave me drugs to lower my fertility levels…they screwed with my hormones so I wouldn't leave the agency!" I lowered my feet to the floor as a handful of tears rolled down my cheeks. "They made me believe I couldn't have children! They made me feel alone –" I bowed my head weeping freely.

"_Try not to focus on what bastards they are Genevieve," _Peggy stated. _"You've been given a gift, a second chance to have the life you always longed for."_

"I'm scared." I whispered.

"_Of course you are, it's only natural. You saw how I was when I found out I was pregnant with William, I was a mess,"_

"Only because you and Marcus were meant to be getting married the next month, you were more worried about not fitting into your dress!"

"_And for good reason, my mother would've killed me if she knew Marcus and I had been together before we were married." _She sighed softly and then chuckled. _"I am so happy for you Genevieve; I know you and Steve will be wonderful parents."_

"You really think so?"

"_Have I ever been wrong?"_

I shook my head. "No, unfortunately not. Thank you Peggy, I don't know what I would do without you."

"_You're welcome; I expect plenty of photos during the pregnancy and regular updates!"_

"Of course, I should go…I love you,"

"_I love you too. Be careful!"_

"Bye."

I ended the call, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Peggy always had my back, and always knew what to say to sway me in the right direction. I slid off the bed and tucked the photo into my back jean pocket, stepping into my black ankle boots as the door flew open.

"They've located Barton and Loki in Germany." He announced as I awkwardly rushed into the small bathroom attached to the room, splashing a handful of cold water upon my face. "Fury's sending us in to intercept them,"

I reached for the hand towel, drying my hands and face before stepping back into the main room. "I'm staying here,"

"Gin –"

"We both can't go running off into battle." I forced a smile. "I'll see what I can find out about this Loki character, see if he has a weakness we can use against him."

"Are you sure?" I nodded even though he frowned at me. He covered the distance between us, drawing me into a tight embrace. "I love you,"

I sighed into his neck. "Every time we do this something goes wrong,"

He leaned back, his lips curving slightly. "Nothing is gonna happen, and even if it did, we always find our way back to each other."

"Just promise me you'll be careful,"

"I will." He kissed me and I clung his waist, holding him against for as long as I possibly could before releasing him, letting him run off to save the day.

I opened the wardrobe beside me, staring at my old SHIELD uniform - a black cat suit with knee-high combat boots, even my faithful Bowie knife was there. I closed the door and I placed my hands on my stomach, feeling a slight developing bump.

"We've got some research to do kid."


	21. Time Bomb

**21 – Time Bomb.**

I spent most of my time researching the Asgardian God known as Loki. He'd been brought onto the Helicarrier by his brother; Thor, Tony and Steve. Fury and Natasha had already spoken to Loki, attempting to discover his plans but it only succeed in putting everyone on edge. Loki was cunning, using words to toy with us in ways that made me uneasy. Threatening and acts of violence wouldn't make him work in our favour.

My ponytail swung lightly as I followed the corridor towards the lab Bruce Banner and Tony set up their equipment to locate the Tesseract Cube, but as I drew closer I heard raised voices.

"…Captain America is on a potential threat watch list?"

I pressed my fingers against the button, the lab door sliding open to reveal the group of heroes at each other's throats.

"You're on that list?" Tony scoffed, smirking at Steve as I cautiously entered the pristine room. "Are you above or below angry bees?"

"I swear to God Stark, one more crack…"

I quickly moved to stand between the two most important men in my life, frowning at them. "What is going on here?"

"You're old man is threatening me. I feel threatened!" Tony cried sarcastically.

"Show some respect!" Steve snapped.

"Respect what?"

"Honestly you two!" I stated firmly pressing a hand against each of their chests, staring ahead at Thor as he shook his mane of dirty blonde hair.

"You speak of control, yet you court chaos!"

"It's his M.O isn't it?" Bruce questioned. "I mean, what are we? A team? No, we're a chemical mixture that makes chaos! We're…we're a time bomb."

Fury's attention was completely focused on Bruce as I lowered my hands back to my sides. Bruce was standing in front of the table where Loki's sceptre sat, it's blue light glowing brightly.

"You need to step away –"

"Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?"

"You know damn well why!" Steve shoved Tony's hand off his shoulder, the two men circling each other as if they were in a boxing ring. "Back off!"

"Oh I'm starting to want you to make me,"

"Tony –" I started warningly but was cut off by Steve. They acted like I wasn't present.

"Yeah, big man in a suit of armour. Take that off, what are you?"

"Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist…"

"I know guys with none of that worth ten of you!"

"Steve, please!" I hopelessly begged.

"I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you,"

"I think I would just cut the wire." Tony replied stepping towards Steve, who matched his step and dark glare.

"Always a way out…y'know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero!"

"A hero? Like you?" Tony retorted. "You're a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!"

"That is enough!" I snapped.

"Put on the suit. Let's go a few rounds,"

Even with the serum improving my strength, I struggled to shove myself in-between Steve and Tony while the others continued to argue amongst themselves.

"You people are so petty…and tidy." Thor chuckled.

"Yeah, this is a team." Bruce muttered.

"Agent Romanoff, would you escort Doctor Banner back to his –"

"Back where? You rented my room!"

"The cell was built –"

"In case you needed to kill me, but you can't! I know! I tried!"

The lab went quiet as the usually calm Doctor looked around at all of us.

"I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth…and the other guy spit it out! So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone at risk!"

He focused his attention on Natasha as my right hand slipped to the sidearm I strapped to my thigh, flicking off the safety.

"You wanna know my secret Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?"

"Doctor Banner…put down the sceptre." Steve stated calmly.

Bruce looked down, almost shocked to see himself clutching Loki's sceptre. A computer beeped somewhere within the room and he placed the sceptre back upon the bench.

"Sorry kids, you don't get to see my life party trick after all." He moved through the group to go to the computer.

"You located the Tesseract?" Thor asked.

"I could get there fastest," Tony remarked.

"The Tesseract belongs on Asgard. No human is a match for it."

"You're not going alone." Steve reached for Tony's arm but he pushed it away.

"You're gonna stop me?"

"Put on the suit, let's find out." Steve and Tony reassumed their staunched positions, facing each other.

"I'm not afraid to hit an old man."

"SHUT UP!" My shout caught everyone off guard and silenced them for a second time. "I do not want to deal with this petty fighting for the next nine months! Or so help me I'll end up putting a bullet in both of you!"

The two men swiftly looked at me in surprise.

"What?"

"The old man knocked you up?" Tony glanced at Steve, a playful smirk forming upon his lips. "Didn't know you had it in you Cap,"

"Gin? Are you…?" Steve glanced between my face and stomach as I nodded.

"I'm pregnant,"

"Ohmygod." Bruce muttered as an explosion erupted sending us all flying in opposite directions.

I hit the ground hard, banging my head against a computer desk as I went down. My vision was blurry as my hands pressed flat against the cold floor, gently pushing myself up onto my hands and knees.

"Gin!" Steve cried.

"She's bleeding," Tony remarked as two sets of hands helped me to my feet. "Are you okay Gin?"

"I-I'm just a little woozy," I raised a hand to my head, winching as my fingers dipped into the damp hairline above my right eye.

"Engines are down!" Fury shouted as I stared at my bloodied fingers. "Stark! Rogers!"

"I'm not leaving you." Steve stated stubbornly taking the wad of material Tony handed him and pressed it against my wound.

"I'm fine, you both need to go and help,"

"Romanoff are you okay?" Fury called down to the deep hole in the middle of the room.

"Go!" I gently pushed Steve away. "We'll talk later and I'll hear you on the comms,"

Steve sighed looking at Tony. "You better put on the suit."

They ran out of the lab as I walked over to Fury. "Where do you need me?"

He studied me from a long moment, knowing well enough not to argue with me when my mind was already made up. "Go to the lower levels, make sure all the equipment, vehicles…everything is secured, if we lose another engine we're gonna fall out of the sky."

"Understood." I stated and quickly rushed out of the lab to go to my station.

-x-

I rested comfortably upon an examine table, my dirt stained T-shirt lifted up to expose my stomach as Marion smothered it with some jelly. She proceeded with the ultrasound while everyone else attempted to clean up the mess the unleashed Hulk created. I didn't blame Bruce for the carnage he produced when he was the green monster, especially since the Helicarrier was still seemingly in one piece. But Loki managed to escape, and Agent Barton was in a detention cell, being closely guarded by Natasha. And I'd been given stiff orders from Steve and Tony to go to the medical bay the moment I could and have myself checked out.

I stared at the small monitor screen for the second time today, listening to the strong heartbeat and watching my tiny baby growing in my stomach. I couldn't begin to describe what I was feeling, but it was overwhelming to know I was getting the one thing I'd always wanted.

"Did you tell Captain Rogers?"

"Sort of, I kinda blurted it out in front of everyone."

"Gin!" The lab door slid open as Steve marched in, still wearing his uniform and stay strands of blonde hair falling from their usual neatly combed setting. "Is the baby okay?"

"Everything is fine." Marion smiled and pointed to the screen as his handsome features relaxed, his blue eyes completely focused on the screen. "There's your baby Captain Rogers, healthy and happy just like its mother,"

"Thank god," Steve muttered bending down to kiss my forehead. "How is this possible? I thought you couldn't have children Gin,"

"That's what I thought too until this morning. Long story short, SHIELD did everything in their power to keep me as their pet." He frowned but didn't push the subject, his gaze instantly drawn back to the screen.

"What are the chances of the baby being infected with the serum?"

She shrugged handing me a wad of tissues to clean my stomach. "I don't know, but with both of you having the serum in you there's a good possibly the baby will too. We won't know the full extent though until the baby arrives and we run tests."

"It's not the serum that worries me," I tugged my shirt down, glancing at Steve. "Once the Council finds out I'm going to be their latest science experiment –"

"I won't let that happen Gin; they won't lay a finger on you or our baby!"

"I second that," Marion stated when Fury's voice abruptly filtered through my ear piece.

"_Agent Coulson is down."_

I slowly sat up. "Steve…"

"_Paramedics are on their way sir."_

"_They're here." _Fury responded, only to sigh softly a few seconds later with the three words that confirmed my worst fears. _"They called it."_

My tongue slid over my parched lips as I swallowed hard, my gaze blurring as Marion touched my arm.

"What's wrong Agent Renard?"

"Phil Coulson is dead." I whispered.


	22. Sonofabitch

**A/N -**_ Two chapters left after this one._

**22 – SonofaBitch**

The main deck of the Helicarrier was quiet, an eerie silence as everyone present was lost within their thoughts, mourning the loss of one of our own. Only a handful of agents were present, positioned in front of their screens in a vain attempt to get the system up and running again while everyone else was assigned to clean up the lower levels. Only Steve, Tony and I were present at the board table, with Fury and Maria Hill standing nearby.

I sat comfortably numb in the chair between Steve and Tony, who'd positioned his chair with its back facing us. It reminded me of the day we buried his parents. He was quiet, withdrawn and seriously pissed off. I jumped, looking up when Fury started to speak.

"These were in Phil Coulson's jacket. I guess he never did get you to sign them."

He tossed a handful of trading cards, soaked in blood at Steve, so they landed on the table before him. He picked up one, staring at it with a sombre expression as Fury continued to speak.

"We're dead in the air up here, our communications, the location of the Cube, Banner, Thor…I got nothing for you. I lost my one good eye, maybe I had that coming." He sighed. "Yes, we were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract, I never put all my chips on that number though, because I was playing something even riskier." Fury slowly moved around the table, taking a moment to look at each of us, his gaze lingered on my hands resting upon my stomach. "There was an idea; Stark knows this, called the Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people to see if they could become something more. To see if they could work together when we needed them to…to fight the battles that we never could. Phil Coulson died, still believing in that idea…in heroes."

I felt that Fury was laying on the guilt a little thick. So it didn't surprise me when Tony abruptly rose from his chair.

"Tony…" I started as he stood stiffly for a moment before stalking off.

"Well, it's an old-fashioned notion." Fury murmured and quietly walked off.

I pressed the crumpled tissue to the corner of my eyes, sighing softly as I gazed at the trading cards, staring at the blood beginning to stain Captain America's image. Coulson wasn't the first friend I'd lost in a battle, nor would he be the last, but no matter how many people died the grief was always the same.

"Are you okay Gin?"

"I can't believe he's gone." I turned my chair to face Steve. "It all happened so quickly, we didn't have a chance in getting to him…damn Loki!"

He reached for my wrist and lightly tugged it. He flashed me a feeble smile as I rose from the chair and perched myself on his lap to wrap my arms round his neck, finding comfort in his embrace. He placed a hand upon my stomach.

"I want you out of harm's way; you should go back to New York,"

"No,"

"Don't be stubborn –"

"I can't help it." I smiled. "Besides, whatever happens, whatever Loki's got planned – Fury's gonna need every agent capable of fighting,"

"You're not capable of fighting!"

Steve lightly shook his head, he believed my words but the idea of me being involved in a battle obviously scared him. To know his thoughts were firmly consumed by me and our baby made my heart soar.

"Honey," I murmured covering his hand with mine, making his blue eyes focus on my face. "I've fought in enough wars to know what I'm doing. Trust that I'll know what fights to get involved with and when I need to run for the hills I will,"

He eventually sighed in defeat. "Okay, but I want you to stay at my side, no matter what."

I nodded and kissed him.

"Well isn't this cozy."

Steve and I swiftly turned our attention to the bridge entrance where a man, dressed in black pants and a dark coloured bomber jacket appeared. A shiver ran down my spine as I hopped off Steve's lap, staring at the man I thought I'd never see again.

"James?"

"Bucky!" Steve stood beside me as James Barnes marched towards us, looking exactly the way he did the day we broke up. "What are you doing here?"

"I just landed, Director Fury called me in for back up," he and Steve shook hands but James' gaze studied me from head to toe and back again. I couldn't quite read his expression, and I was uncomfortably standing with the two men whose friendship I'd almost destroyed. "Looks like I missed all the fun,"

"So you're here to help us stop Loki?" Steve asked making his old friend nod.

"And you two? I assume you're Mr. and Mrs. Rogers?" He raised an eyebrow at me as Steve reached for my hand, holding it tightly.

"Not yet,"

"I should check on Tony." I murmured to Steve.

"You're still sticking your neck out for him?" James smirked and I curtly nodded.

"I'll never give up on the kid,"

"Pity you didn't use that notion on everyone." He retorted and I slipped my hand from Steve's grasp, lightly shaking my head as I stalked pass James.

-x-

In the quiet surroundings of my quarters, I remade the double bed just to keep my hands busy. It was bad enough seeing James again but Tony was giving me the silent treatment as well. He wanted space to deal with Phil Coulson's death so I returned to my quarters until the Avengers figured out a way to stop Loki's war.

I smoothed out the wrinkles in the blanket as there was a sharp knock on the door. It parted from the doorframe and my breath caught in my throat, I slowly perched myself on the edge of the bed as James entered, closing the door behind him so we were completely alone.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you without Steve being around,"

"Why? You've had no trouble calling me a whore in the past, what does it matter to you if Steve hears it?"

"You can't do anything wrong in his eyes," he stood before the closed door and folded his arms across his chest, glowering darkly at me. "He believes you to be the perfect little –"

I jumped up. "He knows exactly what happened between us, and everything that happened before that. I told him everything…unlike _you_, he accepted that I'm human and I make mistakes, and I don't have all the answers!"

"So what now? You two move on and live a happy life together?" He frowned.

"We're going to make the most of our time together…I'm pregnant." His anger instantly faded as his gaze dropped to my stomach and I removed the photo from my back jean pocket, holding it out to him. He unfolded his arms and reluctantly took the photo, staring at it for a long silent moment. "You can hate me all you want James, but I can't spend the rest of my life regretting the decisions I made. I should've told you about Steve the moment we met, I'm sorry I didn't…but I loved you James, I really did," I shrugged. "I just loved Steve more."

James continued to stare at the sonogram photo before sighing softly. "You shouldn't be a part of this battle,"

"Steve's already given me the third degree about this –"

"He's trying to protect his family, if anything happened to you or his baby…" He handed me back the photo. "You know he'd never forgive himself."

"We're not in our time anymore, I'm capable of making my own decisions,"

"You've always done that, you're too stubborn for own good."

I curtly nodded in agreement and glanced at my watch. "I might try and talk to Tony again,"

James opened the door and motioned for me to go first, I did so walking pass and catching a whiff of his aftershave. The spicy cloud brought back memories and I lightly shook my head to make them disappear as we quietly followed the corridor.

"Are you happy Gin?"

"Right now?"

"In general,"

I glanced sideways at him to see he was focusing on his footsteps rather than my expression. "Yeah, I am happy."

We stopped when the corridor split off in two different directions, facing each other until James extended his hand. I cautiously accepted it and we shook hands.

"Good luck Agent Renard,"

"Same to you Agent Barnes." I smiled releasing his hand and turned on my heel, walking off as the remaining guilt upon my shoulders began to melt away.

I headed to the detention level where I discovered Steve and Tony talking. Tony lingered near the spot where Coulson died, and smiled at Steve as I walked by to comfort my godson. I placed a hand upon Tony's shoulder causing his dark brown eyes to find mine.

"Hey kid,"

"How's the package?"

"We're both fine." I gazed at the blood stain on the wall. No one deserved his fate, but in our line of work it was usually the only way things ended.

"He seemed like a good man." Steve remarked, obviously referring to Phil.

"He was an idiot." Tony stepped away from me, lightly shaking his head.

"Why? For believing?"

"For taking Loki alone!" He snapped as I folded my arms across my chest, looking away from the wall to face the vast empty space where the Hulk's cage once stood.

"He was doing his job,"

"Steve's right Tony, any other agent would've done –"

"He was out of his league! He should've waited, he should've…"

"Sometimes there isn't a way out Tony," Steve remarked quietly, always trying to be diplomatic about everything.

"Right, I've heard that before." He muttered darkly.

"Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?"

"We are not soldiers!" Tony snapped facing us, directing his anger more at Steve than me. "I am not marching to Fury's fife!"

"Neither am I!" Steve stated "He's got the same blood on his hands that Loki does, but right now we've got to put that behind us and get this done. Now Loki needs a power source, if we can put together a list –"

"He made it personal," Tony remarked suddenly, his anger fading as his brilliant mind started piecing together the puzzle.

"That's not the point,"

"That is the point,"

"What are you thinking kid? Loki came freely just to toy with all of us?" I questioned.

"Exactly. That's Loki's point! He hit us all right where we live, why?"

"To tear us apart." Steve replied.

"Yeah, divide and conquer is great but he knows he has to take us out to win right? That's what he wants. He wants to beat us and he want to be seen doing it. He wants an audience."

"Right, I caught his act in Stuttengard,"

"Yeah, that's just a preview, this will be opening night. Loki's a full-tilt diva. He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered…" Tony's eyes went wide and I caught his train of thought, feeling stupid for not seeing it before now.

"Stark Tower," I whispered.

"Sonofabitch!" Tony rushed pass me, Steve and I hot on his heels.


	23. Heroes And Monsters

**A/N -** _This is the second to last chapter. Only one left after this and it's complete!_

**23 – Heroes And Monsters.**

I zipped up the tight black body suit and went through the familiar motions of adding a belt, and the weapons that went into the vacant spots. I roughly pulled my loose waves into a ponytail and snatched up my sharp bowie knife, shoving it into the sheath and then adjusted my ear piece. Tony in the Iron Man suit was already speeding towards New York, while Steve rounded up Natasha and hopefully Clint. James would be staying on the carrier, only to be called out if things got really bad.

I left my quarters, exhaling a long breath and mentally prepared myself for battle. I ignored the nerves twisting in my stomach, drowning them with the anger and grief of Loki's destruction. My combat boots marched me to the underground flight deck where I met up with Steve, Natasha and Clint. All three raised their eyebrows at me, my leather gloved hands clenching into hard fists.

"Do we have a problem?"

"I thought you were pregnant," Clint stated.

"I am, but I also have more experience in the field than the three of you combined. So if you've got an issue fighting alongside me, tell someone that gives a shit. We've got a job to do and the lives of many to save!"

Clint held up his hands and Natasha's closed lips twitched slightly. I looked at Steve who lightly shook his head.

"I give up trying to argue with you."

Satisfied I'd won this round I followed them onto the Quinjet and strapped myself in for the ride. But mentally I told myself this would be my last battle; after we took care of Loki I was retiring from SHIELD for good.

-x-

My fingers released the tight grasp of my gun as I raised my leg and kicked a alien soldier in the stomach, sending the creature flying back into an abandoned car. I bent down and grasped my bowie knife, a smirk tugging at my lips as I marched towards another alien, my arm shooting out in front of me to stab the sharp blade into it's head. I kicked the body away, glancing around at the other Avengers in fierce battle and caught my breath.

Clint and Natasha banded together near by, taking down the alien creatures in flawless precision. Thor flew with his swinging hammer, taking out the larger creatures flying around the New York skyline, Tony doing the same while Steve fought beside me. He ran over, raising his shield to protect me as an explosion erupted at the end of the street, bits of metal and rubble flying everywhere.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," I coughed through a mouthful of dust, straightening up as the group came together.

"Alright listen up!" Steve stated grabbing everyone's attention, easily obtaining the position of our leader. "Until we can close that portal our priority's containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash."

Clint turned to Tony. "Want to give me a lift?"

"Right, better clench up Legolas." Tony grabbed Clint and they shot up into the sky as Steve continued to give us instructions.

"Thor, you gotta try and bottleneck that portal. Slow them down. You got the lightning, light them up."

Thor smiled and swung his hammer, flying off to the tallest building. Steve rounded on me and Natasha.

"Us three, we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here. And Hulk," The Hulk grunted in reply. "Smash."

The Hulk grinned and jumped away as I grabbed Steve by the neck, pressing myself against him, kissing him passionately. We parted and he frowned down at me.

"I love it when you take charge," I released him and readied myself into a battle stance, bowie knife posed and waiting to spill more blood when movement to my left caught my attention. To my horror there appeared to be people trapped in the building where most of the windows had been blown out. "Steve! There are people trapped!" I called out to him, shoving my bowie knife into its sheath and started running towards the building, hearing him yell my name but I ignored him.

I jumped over some broken concrete, round abandoned cars and small fires to enter the building that appeared to be a café. Dishes and food still lingered on tables, handbags and lost shoes littered on the floor amongst broken glass. I reached for my sidearm, flicking off the safety and raised it so the barrel swayed over every area.

"_Gin! Answer me dammit!"_

"Not now honey," I muttered carefully placing one combat boot in front of the other.

"_You should've let Natasha go –"_

"I said not now."

I scanned the area and quickly checked the kitchen but found it empty. I ran up the narrow staircase to the second level where discovered a small flat and ten people cowering in a corner. I put my gun away and flashed them a feeble smile, especially the two young children being surrounded protectively by the adults.

"Steve, it's Gin," I holstered my weapon, pressing a finger into my ear. "I've found a group of ten people, I'm gonna try and get them out of here."

"_All right, stay safe."_

"It's okay, My name is Gin and I'm here to help you."

"What's happening?" someone asked.

"Is there a back entrance?" I questioned walking towards them, a middle-aged man rose from the group wearing chef whites - I'd seen him peering out the window.

"There's a side entrance in the kitchen that leads into an alleyway, we park the delivery van there."

"Okay, I want you to all follow me downstairs." I pulled the chef to one side. "I need you to get everyone out of Manhattan in your van as quickly as possible,"

"Who are you?" He asked.

"A friend," I smiled kindly as I waved for the people to stand and follow me towards the door. "Okay, everyone, stay close together and keep quiet."

I led the group down the stairs, a hand on my sidearm. My hazel eyes swept the ground level once again for a threat but found it still empty. We headed quietly into the kitchen and I could hear the battle raging on outside, a deep rumbling making the building shake. We made safely through the kitchen to the back door, I carefully pushed it open and peered out into the alleyway which was thankfully empty apart from the van. Everyone was ushered into the van but one of the young girls wearing a Snow White costume and her blonde hair set in curls dropped her dolly. I bent down and picked it up, placing it back into her awaiting arms.

"Thank you,"

"You're welcome, you keep your dolly safe won't you?"

She nodded hugging the dolly tightly as I closed the van door. The chef started it up and drove carefully along the alleyway, away from me to the opposite end and pulled out into the street. I hoped they would get out of the city, especially the young girls.

"They got away…Steve? Are you there?" I got no reply and headed to the end of the alleyway to find the street empty of any Avengers. "Barton? Tony? It's Gin, can you see Steve anywhere?"

"_No, but Natasha is riding one of the alien crafts."_

"Crazy Russian." I muttered jogging out into the middle of the street, looking up and down for any sign of Steve but I didn't have time to dwell as more alien soldiers began sliding down the buildings, rapidly closing in around me.

I saw an alien weapon lying nearby, some sort of spear that had a power source, I grabbed it and walked toward the soldiers.


	24. Meant To Be

**A/N - **_ The final chapter of Worlds Apart. It's been a long time coming and thanks to all those that stuck around._

_If you're a Steve Rogers fan, check out my story Assassins Secrets._

**24 – Meant To Be.**

"Gin!"

I spun round ignoring the dead alien bodies surrounding me to see Steve in the distance and Thor behind him. I dropped the alien weapon and ran towards him, throwing my arms round him and embracing him. I kissed every inch of his dirty face, and sighed gratefully now I knew he was safe.

"When you didn't answer…" I hugged him again.

"_I can close it. Can anybody copy? I can shut the portal down." _Natasha's voice came through our ear pieces and I pulled away from Steve, peering into the distance at Stark Tower.

"Do it!" Steve stated.

"_No wait!"_ Tony remarked.

"Stark, these things are still coming!"

"_I got a nuke coming in. It's gonna blow in less than a minute and I know just where to put it."_

"Stark, you know that's a one way trip." Steve stated reaching for my hand but I snatched it back, taking a couple of steps forward to stare up at the portal.

My heart began to pound roughly against my ribs and my stomach twisted nervously as I pressed a finger against my ear piece.

"Don't do this Tony…"

"_I have to try."_

"No you don't!" I snapped feeling my eyes blur the longer I watched more alien soldiers and crafts come through the portal. "There has to be another way, you can't sacrifice yourself –"

"_You take care of the kid Gin…I know you and the Cap will be great parents, just don't forget to tell them about their crazy uncle Tony,"_

I bowed my head once he disappeared through the portal. I felt my cheeks become damp as my tears finally broke free. I'd lost the one person I'd sworn to protect. "Tony," I whispered. "Kid?"

I looked up when a deep rumble erupted, the ground shaking as the aliens and their crafts suddenly dropped like rag dolls to the ground. I glance over my shoulder at Steve whose still studying the sky.

"Close it." He murmured and we all silently watched as the portal began to close.

My breath caught in my throat when I notice something small plummeting through the portal before it closes completely. It's appeared to be shiny and floating rapidly towards the ground.

"Sonofagun," Steve remarked.

"He's not slowing down,"

I mentally agreed with Thor and watched in horror as Tony descended towards us but before I could scream, the Hulk jumped from a building and caught Tony, using the sides of buildings to slow them down before hurling towards us. They crashed into a yellow cab and the Hulk tossed Tony's lifeless body to the ground. I race over with Steve and Thor closely behind me, falling to my knees beside him.

Thor effortlessly ripped off the scratched metal mask, tossing it into the distance and my fingers traced my godson's face, a fresh wave of tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Is he breathing?" Steve asked crouching beside me.

"Tony…come on kid, wake up. Wake up god dammit!"

The Hulk abruptly roared, making everyone jump including Tony. His brown eyes snapped open and stared wildly around.

"What the hell? What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me,"

"We won." Steve stated as I threw myself over Tony, ignoring his painful groans.

"Don't ever do that again Tony!" I leant up clumsily wiping my tears away as he caught his breath.

"Alright! Hey, alright. Good job guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is but I wanna try it."

I laughed despite my tears, the stress of the battle, all the fear and anger fading away. We'd won. Earth was safe as was everyone I cared about. I couldn't have asked for a better outcome than that.

-x-

(April 2011)

I released a long breath, staring at my reflection in the mirror. Savoring the peace as I went through the final touches of preparing myself for my wedding. The simple satin white dress covered in lace with short lace sleeves that sat neatly on my shoulders, clung to my figure until it reached my knees, flowing out slightly in a mermaid style train and showing off my baby bump. There was a slight v-neckline at the front to show off my locket but I loved the deep v shape exposing my bare back. I combed my fingers through my brown waves, pulling them into a loose ponytail and allowing stray pieces to fall around my lightly made up face.

I heard the light shuffling of feet behind me and watched Peggy walk towards me in a pale blue dress, her white hair pinned up and a wide smile lighting up her pretty features.

"You look a bundle of nerves sweetheart,"

"I feel like I'm going to throw up," I murmured as I faced her, reaching for her hands to hold them tightly. "I've stared death in the face, been shot, stabbed and survived wars…all of that seems easier than putting on this beautiful dress and announcing my feelings to the world."

"Once you see Steve you'll feel right as rain," she broke our hands and wrapped her arms around me in a warm hug. "I'm so happy for you and Steve, you deserve all the happiness in the world."

"I love you Peggy,"

We pulled apart as the bedroom door opened revealing Tony. He grinned, sculling the liquor in the glass he grasped and set it upon the dresser before grinning at me.

"Not bad old girl,"

I rolled my eyes at him handing Peggy a small bouquet of white roses, and then reached for a larger one. Peggy smiled and walked carefully out of the room giving me a moment alone with Tony.

"Don't tell me your scared,"

"Terrified." I blew out another long breathe. "Tony,"

"Hmm,"

"Steve and I want you and Pepper to be the baby's godparents."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Me?"

"And Pepper,"

"I'm deeply honored, and surprised." I chuckled as he stuck out his elbow and I linked my arm with his, allowing him to lead me from the bedroom and along a narrow corridor before we entered the open space of his penthouse in Stark Tower.

Tony spent the past couple of month repairing the building, replacing all the windows and concrete floors that were damaged during the battle. Once Pepper was satisfied she went about organizing the wedding knowing the space would be big enough to invite out closest friends.

We appeared as the small crowd sitting on white rigid chairs went quiet as the beginning of _'As time goes by,' _started playing. Peggy was already walking along the aisle towards the archway at the end decorated with spring flowers and with the beautiful backdrop of the New York City skyline bathed in the late afternoon sun. My hazel eyes discovered Steve lingering at the end of the aisle in a smart black suit, and James standing proudly at his side as his best man.

I couldn't control the grin forming on my lips as Steve watched Tony and I approach. All my fears and nerves faded away as he flashed me a smile. When we came to a stop at the end of the aisle, Tony stood between me and Steve as the aging Minister opened his book and the music ended.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the presence of family and friends to celebrate the joining of Steve Rogers and Genevieve Renard in the unity of marriage. There are no obligations on earth sweeter or tender than those you are about to assume. There are no vows more solemn than those you are about to make." The Minister smiled at us. "Who gives this woman in marriage?"

"That would be me," Tony replied releasing my arm and kissed my cheek before stepping away to take his seat beside Pepper who was already dabbing the corners of her damp eyes with a tissue.

"Will you please face each other and join hands?"

I handed my bouquet to Peggy and faced Steve, my trembling hands gently resting within his.

"Steve, will you take this woman, whose hands you hold, choosing her alone to be your wedded wife? Will you live with her in the state of true matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honor her at all times, and be faithful to her?"

"I will," he lightly squeezed my hands.

"Genevieve, will you take this man, whose hands you hold, choosing him alone to be your wedded husband? Will you live with him in the state of true matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honor him at all times, and be faithful to him?"

"I will," I smiled.

"As you take these vows, Steve and Genevieve, I would have you remember: To love is to come together from the pathways of our past and then move forward...Hand in hand, along the uncharted roads of our future, ready to risk, to dream, and to dare... And always believe that all things are possible with faith, love and in each other. I understand you have brought rings as a token of your sincerity?"

James dug a hand into his pant pocket and handed two rings to the minister.

"Bless these rings, that each gives, receives, and wears. May they ever abide in thy peace, living together in unity, in love, and in happiness." He handed the smaller of the two silver bands to Steve. "Steve, Genevieve, will you repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love."

"With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love." Steve repeated easily sliding the ring onto my finger and flashed me a grin as I took the other ring.

"With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love."

"In as much as you two have consented together in the union of matrimony and you have pledged your love each to the other in the presence of these witnesses, now by the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride Steve,"

"My pleasure," he chuckled releasing my hands and cupped my face within his hands, leaning close to kiss my lips lightly.

"I love you," I smiled curling my arms round his neck pulling him close to deepen the kiss. His arms wrapped round my waist, easily lifting my feet off the ground as the applause from our family and friends became distant background noise.

We parted and were instantly embraced by our family and friends. Nothing could damper our spirits, no threat of battles yet to happen or even the nerves of giving birth in four months time. Everything fell into place in this moment, I was exactly where I was meant to be.


	25. Ode To The Heart Killer

**A/N –**_ First off I'd just like to say thank you for all the feedback I received in regards to continuing on with Worlds Apart. I think some of you who write will understand how invested you can get in your characters and writing their story, and I just couldn't bring myself to let Gin and Steve go. I feel like there are some things I might've passed over too quickly in earlier chapters and while I considered writing one last chapter showing the happy Rogers' family I was struck by an idea I couldn't get out of my head for days…so here we go!_

_-x-_

**25 – Ode to the Heart Killer.**

(August 2011)

My throat rumbled with a groan as I woke to feel an instant throb pounding in the front of my head. I lightly shook my head to clear my blurred vision but only succeeded in making my headache worse. I couldn't figure how much time had passed. There was a damp, musty stench in the air but from what I could make out in the dim light emitting from the single bulb hanging above me, I was locked in some sort of a concrete room and strapped to a chair with a piece of crude rope that burned against my flesh every time I moved.

"Hello?" I croaked, my vocal cords scratching together like two pieces of sandpaper. My tongue rolled over my parched lips, tasting the coppery twang of blood. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

I fought through the emotions building up, ignoring the tears fighting to be released from the corners of my eyes as I glanced down at my pregnant stomach. My simple black dress was torn in places, also covered in a light layer of dirt and the black blazer I'd worn over it was missing, leaving my arms bare and covered in goose-bumps.

I tried to recall the events that led me here. I remembered spending the day at SHIELD headquarters, where I still taught new recruits and leaving later than usual after taking a call from Peggy. I closed my eyes, focusing on the moment I left headquarters, standing on the curb as the evening traffic began to grow, congesting the streets when a cab abruptly halted in front of me. I didn't think anything of it, climbing in and giving the driver my home address. I'd been occupied with my phone, going through the lesson plan for the next day when the cab screeched to sudden stop and I went flying forward, knocking my head against the plastic barrier between me and the driver, after that everything was dark and blurry.

A door slid open in front of me allowing more light to flood into the empty space around me, confirming I was in a cell-like room. I heard the distance murmur of voices and then the musical tapping of high heels belonging to the female silhouette now walking towards me. Something snapped and a single fiery flame danced seemingly in mid-air, I couldn't see much of the face behind it but I inhaled the cigarette smoke that followed.

"It is a great honor to be in your presence,"

I strained myself while listening to the softly spoken English accent, trying to place the familiarity of it to a face that might've been from my past. "Who are you?"

"I am a great admirer of Doctor Zola's work and you Genevieve Renard are his greatest creation."

A cloud of cigarette smoke surrounded me as the light above me gradually revealed a petite dark-hair woman with the most dazzling green coloured eyes I'd ever seen. She wore a navy dress that hugged her figure and plain black high heels. Her wavy hair the colour of black ink was loose, framing her masculine facial features. But I still had no idea who she was or more importantly what she wanted from me.

"Zola was nothing more than a slave to Johann Schmidt."

The woman sucked the end of the cigarette making the end glow. "Maybe but he turned you into SHIELD's most illustrious agent." She dropped the cigarette and rubbed it out with the toe of her high heel and leant forward, brushing her fingers along my jaw. "The serum running through your veins is one of the prized secrets of all time, and the child conceived by yourself and Captain Rogers, growing in your womb is a miracle." She lowered her hand to my stomach and I squirmed against my restraints.

"Don't you touch me or my baby!"

"I don't want this to turn messy Genevieve but if I have to cut that child from your womb…I will. And I will do it while you're awake so you can whither and scream as you feel me take the child from within you. And then when you think that is the worst possible form of torture you can withstand, I will harvest your blood and organs to learn the secret of the super soldier serum."

My chin trembled as I stared into her cool green eyes; she was unapologetic for her words and determined to get what she wanted no matter the cost. She was emotionless and calculating – the worse sort of person to deal with. "Steve will come for me." I stated defiantly when she cupped my chin in her hand.

"I'm counting on it," her lips stretched into a broad grin. "I look forward to seeing the look on his face when he discovers your body and your womb empty –"

"That's enough Iris!"

She straightened, releasing a long sigh glancing back over her shoulder as a male appeared in the doorway; I didn't need to see his face as I knew the voice and my heart plummeted.

"Bucky." I whispered and hung my head as the first tears emitted from my eyes, rolling down my cheeks as his leather boots marched towards me.

"Weeping at your misfortune won't save you." Iris commented.

"Leave me with her Iris."

"Not until I've seen the look on her face, the hurt, the betrayal…ooh I love a good soap opera."

The heartless English woman now known as Iris laughed as my chin was roughly grabbed, tilting my damp face upwards so the light revealed the handsome features I'd once loved. James 'Bucky' Barnes noted my misery and obviously found it satisfactory by the way his lips curved.

"Look at that heartbreak; it's as if you literally plunged a knife into her heart Bucky." Iris chuckled. "She never saw it coming either, she had no idea you were the one that organized her kidnapping."

I tuned out Iris, staring up at Bucky trying to understand how he could betray Steve. "How can you do this to your best friend?" I asked him quietly.

"My best friend," his voice hummed deeply as he roughly slid his thumb through the stream of tears running down my face. He then lowered his hand to my mother's locket, grasping it tightly as he tugged to rip it from around my neck. He flicked it open scowling at the photo held within it – just as he had when he first discovered it while we were dating. He snapped it close meeting my gaze. "He was my best friend until he stole the woman I loved. I want him to know what it feels like to have you ripped away. I want to torture him with the thought of not knowing whether you're alive or dead."

He stepped aside, shoving my locket into his pocket and I started squirming the moment Iris produced a syringe from a small leather bag I hadn't noticed sitting at her feet.

"Hold her still Bucky; I don't want to puncture one of her precious veins."

"No! Don't do this! Please!"

"Honestly, you're not living up to your fierce reputation by whining and blubbering Genevieve. Where's the famous Venus Doom hiding these days?" Iris taunted.

Bucky marched behind me and wrapped his arms around me in an awkward bear hug. Iris placed a strap around my bicep, tightening it before delicately brushing her fingers over my veins. She sighed softly staring straight into my eyes when she stuck me with the needle. I flinched as the sharp needle pierced my flesh, glancing down as the vial filled with my serum tainted blood.

"I hope you've dug yourself a grave," I muttered making her black eyebrow arch. "Because the last thing you'll see before I dump you in it is my face."

"And hello Venus Doom." She smiled. "Now hold still sweetheart, I need this to begin the preliminary testing, and until I can get my hands on that valuable little bundle."

I spat at her. Iris didn't take too kindly to my reaction, smacking me across the mouth before roughly ripping the needle from my vein. Bucky released me, following her without a word until I spoke up again.

"Who do you hate more James? Me or Steve?"

He froze before the opened door, taking a long moment before he glimpsed back over his shoulder at me, his blue eyes clear of any emotion. "You." He replied softly. "You'll always be the dagger in my heart Gin."

He walked out and the door shut behind him. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer. I couldn't see how I'd get out of this mess.


End file.
